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Monday, April 11, 2016

Funny: Some jokes

There's two cows standing in a field...
Cow 1: Moo!
Cow 2: Bitch! I was gonna say that!

There's two cows standing in a field...
Cow 1:'re not worried about this mad cow disease are you?
Cow 2: No...why should I be? I'm a helicopter!

There's two cows standing in a field and a sheep walks up to them...

Sheep: Say lads, any chance of telling me which way to town?
Both cows stare blankly at the sheep...
Sheep: Do you speak English?
Both cows continue to stare blankly...
Sheep: Hello?! Oh bugger it!
The sheep walks off, and one cow turns to the other...
Cow: Did you see that?! A talking sheep!


We have a new employee, Jose, at the local Home Depot and has proven to be very knowledgeable and helpful to the sawdust challenged like myself. Yesterday I needed his guidance after ruining several pieces of wood with my newly purchased belt sander. A fast trip to the store led to the retro question,

"Can you tell me the way to sand, Jose?"


There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air.

The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength.

Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying. One tourist got exceedingly nervous about
half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed.

With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope. The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, "Whenever it breaks."

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