Watching her mother as she tried on her new fur coat, the
young daughter said unhappily, "Mom, do you realize some poor dumb beast
suffered so you could have that?"
The woman shot her an angry look and yelled, "How
dare you talk about your father like that!"
------------
If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so
many dead rabbits on the highway?
------------
An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was
sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were
waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was
decorating them with tiger paws.
"You've got so many freckles, there's no place to
paint!" a girl in the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the
little boy dropped his head.
His grandmother knelt down next to him. "I love your
freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles, she said, while
tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are
beautiful!"
The boy looked up, "Really?"
"Of course," said the grandmother. "Why,
just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles."
The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely
into his grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."
----------------
Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren
would be saying about them fifty years from now.
"I would like my grandchildren to say, 'He was
successful in business',"
declared the first man.
"Fifty years from now," said the second,
"I want them to say, 'He was a loyal family man'."
Turning to the third gent, the first gent asked, "So
what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?"
"Me?" the third man replied. "I want them
all to say, 'He certainly looks good for his age'!"
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