A
wealthy playboy met a beautiful young girl in an exclusive lounge.
He took her to his lavish apartment where he soon discovered she was not a tramp, but was well groomed and apparently very intelligent.
Hoping to impress her, he began showing her his collection of expensive paintings, first editions by famous authors and offered her a glass of wine.
He asked whether she preferred Port or Sherry and she said, "Oh, Sherry by all means.
To me, it's the nectar of the gods. Just looking at it in a crystal-clear decanter fills me with a glorious sense of anticipation.
When the stopper is removed and the gorgeous liquid is poured into my glass, I inhale the enchanting aroma and I'm lifted on the wings of ecstasy.
It seems as though I'm about to drink a magic potion and my whole being begins to glow.
The sound of a thousand violins being softly played fills my ears and I'm transported into another world.
"On the other hand, Port gives me gas."
--------------
Words That Don't Exist...But Should...
Aquadextrous (akwa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bath taps on and off with your toes.
Carperpetuation (kar 'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down
to give the vacuum one more chance.
Disconfect (diskonfect'
Elbonics (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a cinema.
Frust (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dustpan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
Lactomangulation (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the 'open here' spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.
Peppier (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
Phonesia (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
Pupkus (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
Telecrastination (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.
He took her to his lavish apartment where he soon discovered she was not a tramp, but was well groomed and apparently very intelligent.
Hoping to impress her, he began showing her his collection of expensive paintings, first editions by famous authors and offered her a glass of wine.
He asked whether she preferred Port or Sherry and she said, "Oh, Sherry by all means.
To me, it's the nectar of the gods. Just looking at it in a crystal-clear decanter fills me with a glorious sense of anticipation.
When the stopper is removed and the gorgeous liquid is poured into my glass, I inhale the enchanting aroma and I'm lifted on the wings of ecstasy.
It seems as though I'm about to drink a magic potion and my whole being begins to glow.
The sound of a thousand violins being softly played fills my ears and I'm transported into another world.
"On the other hand, Port gives me gas."
--------------
Words That Don't Exist...But Should...
Aquadextrous (akwa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bath taps on and off with your toes.
Carperpetuation (kar 'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down
to give the vacuum one more chance.
Disconfect (diskonfect'
Elbonics (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a cinema.
Frust (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dustpan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
Lactomangulation (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the 'open here' spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.
Peppier (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
Phonesia (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
Pupkus (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
Telecrastination (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.
No comments:
Post a Comment