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Monday, April 18, 2016

Funny: Some jokes

Mary was almost crazy with her three young kids. She complained to her best friend Judy, "They're driving me nuts! They give me no rest! I'm half way to the funny farm!"

"What you need," said Judy, "is a playpen."

So Mary bought a playpen. A few days later, Judy called to ask how things were going.

"Superb! I can't believe it," Mary said. "I get in that pen with a good book and a chocolate bar, and the kids don't bother me for hours!"


My broker called me this morning and said, "Remember that stock we bought and I said you'd be able to retire at age 55?"

"Yes, I remember," I said.

"Well," my broker continued, "your retirement age is now 108."


The banker had called the man in to talk about his account. "Your financial affairs are in a big mess! Your wife constantly overdraws your account. She is behind in her charge accounts at the department store, and her check stubs are all added wrong. So why don't you talk to her about it?"

"Because," said the man, "I would rather argue with you than with her."

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