We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church,
and several former pastors and the bishop were in attendance. At one point, our
minister had the children gather at the altar for a talk about the importance
of the day.
He began by asking, "Does anyone know what the
bishop does?"
There was silence. Finally, one little boy answered
gravely, "He's the one you can move diagonally."
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A lady on a commuter train was reading a newspaper
article about life and death statistics. Fascinated, she turned to the man next
to her and asked, "Did you know that every time I breathe somebody
dies?"
"Really," he said, "have you tried
mouthwash?"
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Congratulating a friend after her son and daughter got
married within a month of each other, a woman asked, "What kind of boy did
your daughter marry?"
"Oh, he's wonderful," gushed the mother.
"He lets her sleep late, wants her to go to the beauty parlor regularly,
and insists on taking her out to dinner every night."
"That's nice," said the woman. "What about
your son?"
"I'm not so happy about that," the mother
sighed. "His wife sleeps late, spends all her time in the beauty parlor,
and makes them eat take-out meals!"
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