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Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Funny: Some jokes

There was a farmer who had a herd of pigs. One day someone went to the farm and asked the farmer: "What do you use to feed your pigs?"

"Well, I give them acorn, corn, and things like that. Why?"

"Because I am from the Animals Protection Association and I think you don't feed them like you should, they shouldn't eat wastes." Then he fined the farmer.

Some days later, another person arrived and asked the same question. The farmer answered: "Well, I feed them very well. I give them salmon, caviar, shrimp, steak... why?"

"Because I am from the United Nations Organization and I think it's unfair that you feed your pigs like that when there are people dying with nothing to eat." And he fined the farmer.

Finally, another man came in and asked just the same question. The hesitant farmer answered after a few minutes: "Well, I give five dollars to each pig so they can buy whatever they want."


Tony was caught swearing by his teacher. "Tony," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where did you hear it?"

"My Daddy said it," Tony responded.

"Well, that doesn't matter," she explained. "I don't want to hear that language in here again."

After a moment, she whispered aloud, "At least he doesn't know what it means."

"I do too!" Tony exclaimed. "It means the car won't start."


One day, over the phone, I was helping a customer install a product on a Macintosh.

The procedure required him to delete an old file. On the Mac there is an icon of trash can that is used to collect items to be permanently deleted. I told the customer to click on the old file and drag it to the trash. Then I had him perform a few other steps.

As a reminder, I said, "Don't forget to empty the trash."

Obediently he replied, "Yes, Dear."

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