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Thursday, April 7, 2016

Funny: Some jokes

I was shopping the other day and wound up face to face with this drop dead gorgeous blonde. Talk about *built*.

I couldn't help but just stare, leer and lust might be better words, at her, so much so that my mouth damn near dropped open and I was almost drooling.

The blonde caught me staring and rightly suspected I wasn't just admiring her outfit. - She said, "Are you often troubled by indecent thoughts?"

Smiling, I replied, "No, ma'am. Actually, to be honest, I rather enjoy them."


This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs. He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle."

"OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?"

"A fottle, replies the inventor."

"A fottle? That's a stupid! Can't you think of something else?"

"I can think about it. I've got something else though. It's a folding carton."

"And what do you call that?" asks the clerk.

"A farton", replies the inventor.

"That's rude. You can't possibly call it that!"

"In that case," says the inventor...

"You're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."


A man was on his way home with a new car, which was absorbing all his attention, when it struck him that he had forgotten something. Twice he stopped, counted his parcels, searched his pockets, but finally decided he had everything with him. Yet the feeling persisted.

When he reached home his daughter ran out, stopped short, and cried, "Daddy, where's Mommy?"

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