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Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Funny: Some jokes

A trial had been scheduled in a small town, but the court clerk had forgotten to call in a jury panel.

Rather than adjourning what he thought was an exceptionally simple case, the judge ordered his bailiff to go through the courthouse and round up enough people to form a jury. The bailiff returned with a group of lawyers.

The prosecutor felt that it would be an interesting experiment to try a case before a jury of lawyers, and the defense counsel had no objection, so a jury was impaneled. And the trial went very quickly. After only an hour of testimony, and very short closing arguments, both sides rested. The jury was then instructed by the judge, and was sent back to the jury room to deliberate.

After nearly six hours, the trial court was concerned that the jury had not returned with a verdict. The case had, in fact, turned out to be every bit as simple as he had expected, and it seemed to him that they should have been back in minutes. He sent the bailiff to the jury room, to see if they needed anything.

The bailiff returned, and the judge asked, "Are they close to reaching a verdict?"

The bailiff shook his head, and replied, "Your Honor, they're still doing nomination speeches for the position of foreman."



1. Fill out every credit card application and magazine subscription you get and have them bill you later.

2. Use your Master Card to pay your Visa and vice-versa.

3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.

4. When someone says "have a nice day," tell them you have other plans.

5. Make a list of things to do that you have already done.

6. Do your assignments in binary code.

7. Bill your doctor for time spent in his waiting room.

8. Fill-out your tax form using Roman Numerals.

9. Make up a language and ask people for directions in it.

10. Replace the filling of a Twinkie with ketchup and put it back in the wrapper.

11. Write a short story using alphabet soup.

12. Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.

13. Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.

14. Pay your electric bill in pennies.

15. Start a rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.

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