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Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Funny: Some jokes

It was the night of the worst blizzard of the year. The streets were filled with drifting snow, and the winds were howling fiercely. A man, covered with snow and frost, enters a bakery.

He says to the baker, "I'll have one roll." The baker wraps the one roll and asks if there's anything else he can get him.

"No, that's it," says the man, "just one roll."

The baker says, "You came out on the worst night of the year to buy just one roll?"

The man says, "Yes, for just one roll."

The baker asks, "Are you married?"

The man says, "Of course I am. Do you think my mother would send me out on a night like this?"


Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. Baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy."

The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, son is crying, and mother is saying "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new Mommies and Daddies."

A few days later, the stork parents are desperate: their son is absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's been all night.

Says the baby stork, "Just scaring the heck out of some college students!"


Over the weekend I happened to catch a glimpse of some National Dog Show event as I flipped through the channels.

The dog on the screen at the time was a white English sheepdog. It was simply a mound of fur with four legs. The judge was brushing back the dog's hair so she could look at the animal's eyes.

The TV announcer explained that each dog has to have its eyes checked to make sure they're the right shape, color, etc.

Another announcer chimed in with, "Well, plus the judge has to see if the dog HAS both of its eyes. Because if you start combing through hair and you only see one eye -- you're looking at the wrong end of the dog." 

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