Funny: Some jokes

There was this Magician on a ship performing every night.

Not noticing, the captains parrot watches him every night as he performs the same tricks.

After watching him, the parrot finds out how he does it and started to tell the audience.

After the parrot told the audience, the ship hit an iceberg and started to sink. Everyone ran to the life boats.

It so happen that the Magician went overboard and managed to hold one a flat piece of board that the parrot was on.

After three days of staring at each other the parrot finally says "Ok, what did you do with the ship?"

----------------------

Ways To Turn A Man Down...

HE. "Can I buy you a drink?"
SHE. "Actually I'd rather have the money"

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours!!!

HE: Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice!!!

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share!!!

HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!

HE: Your face must turn a few heads!
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs!!!

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!!!

HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?