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Saturday, April 16, 2016

Funny: Some jokes

The roof of the chapel was leaking and the priest asked for volunteers to raise funds for its repair, so Mike offered his services.

About a week later, the priest met Mike who was staggering from side to side as a result of having imbibed too freely. Mike was apologetic. "I'm collecting for the roof, Father," he said. "It seems that every one of the neighbors I called on insisted on giving me a wee drop after giving a donation."

The priest was shocked. "Are there no teetotalers in the parish, Mike?"

"Oh, yes, to be sure," said Mike. "I've written to those."


I heard the dog barking before he and his owner actually barreled into our vet practice. Spotting a training video we sell, the owner wisely decided to buy one.

"How does this work?" she asked, handing me a check. "Do I just have him watch this?"


Because my mother had a habit of losing her cordless phone, I bought her a phone with a clip on it so she could attach it directly to her belt.

A few days later, I walked into my mother's home and found her standing in the middle of the living room, halfway dressed. That did not strike me as odd so much as the fact that she was holding her pants to the side of her head and speaking into them.

"Don't look at me that way!" she yelled. "The phone started ringing and I couldn't figure out how to undo this stupid clip!"

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