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Monday, April 25, 2016

Funny: Some jokes

The boss was very exasperated with his new secretary. She ignored the telephone when it rang.

"You must answer the telephone!" he told her irritably.

"All right," she replied, "but it seems so silly. Nine times out of ten, it's for you!”

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A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prize possession even to the grocery store, which was a few blocks from the house.

After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed: "Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age.”

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While hiking in the countryside, my friend Eve and I spotted a huge bed of mushrooms that we knew to be edible. We gathered a large basketful and sautéed them that night. My husband Phil refused to eat them, thinking they might be poisonous.

Two weeks later, Eve and I gathered some more mushrooms. This time, Phil joined us.

"How is it that you're eating these mushrooms tonight," I asked, "when you wouldn't touch the ones we brought home 2 weeks ago? "What changed your mind?"

"I thought about it," Phil explained seriously, "and I figured it would be better to be found dead with you two than to try to explain two dead women in my home.”

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Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store.

While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a feature and asked the clerk about it. "What's this little pocket thing here on the side for?"

"Oh, that's to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you've jogged too far.”

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