Funny: Some jokes

Two church members were going door-to-door and knocked on Vickie's door who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammed the door in their faces.

To Vickie's surprise, however, the door did not close and in fact, bounced back open.

She tried again and really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with all her might, but got the same result. The door bounced back open.

Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them said, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you need to move your cat."

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Women always say some snide little comments when they catch their guy looking at a cute girl.

Bills wife caught him last week. She said, "You look like a kid in a candy store!"

Thank God Bill is witty. He came right back with, "Yeah, well, I'm married now so, I'm a kid with diabetes in a candy store."

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Just after the maid had been fired, she took five bucks from her purse and threw it to Fido, the family dog.

When asked why by her former employer, she answered, "I never forget a friend. That was for helping me clean the dishes all the time!"

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Two intrepid explorers met in the heart of the Brazilian jungle.

"I'm here," declared one, "to commune with nature in the raw, to contemplate the eternal verities and to widen my horizons. And you, sir?"

"I," sighed the second explorer, "came because my young daughter has begun violin lessons."