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Saturday, March 5, 2016

Funny: Some jokes

The Judge asked the defendant, "Mr. Jones ,do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"

"I do."

"Now what do you say to defend yourself?"

"Your Honor, under those limitations... nothing."


One day a mother was explaining to her young son that you should never tell a lie. She told him that God saw everything and heard everything. She explained, "Even though your father and I may not know if you are telling a lie God will know."
The young son replied, "But will He tell?"


A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train. 

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,……….

Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.”

“I have a better idea,’ she replied ‘Just for tonight,…… let’s pretend that we’re married.”

“Wow!…………………. That’s a great idea!”, he exclaimed.

“Good”, she replied. …………… “Get your own f***ing blanket.”


"I have to have a raise," the man said to his boss. "There are three other companies after me."

"Is that so?" asked the manager. "What other companies are after you?"

"The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company." 

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