Funny: Some jokes

A woman was in a gambling casino for the first time. At the roulette she says, "I have no idea what number to play." The croupier suggests she play her age. Smiling at the man, she puts her money on number 32. The wheel is spun, and as the ball settles into the 41 slot the woman falls over into a dead faint.

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A traveling salesman was held up by a bad storm in the Hawaiian Islands. He sent an e-mail to his corporate headquarters advising them that he was stranded for a few days and requested instructions.

The reply came back shortly: "Begin vacation as of yesterday."

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The parish priest very furtively calls the mother superior into his office.

This is how their conversation went:

"Sister, I want to show you something."

"What is it, Father?

"Come into my private room & close the blinds."

"WHAT?!"

"I said....."

"I heard what you said - I just can't believe you're saying it!"

"Well, I really need you to come in."

Curious, the nun does as she is told.

"Here, sit on the bed beside me."

.

I have to get out of here."

"Aren't you the least bit curious?"

Well, the nun was so she sat down beside him.

"Get under the covers."

"WHAT?????!!!!!"

The nun was really freaking out.

"It doesn't work otherwise!"

After much coaxing, the nun does get under the covers with him.

He whispers: "Come closer."

Nervously, she does get closer.

"See," the priest whispers gleefully, "my new watch does glow in the dark!!!!"