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Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Funny: Some jokes

One day my husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "Detroit Red Wings."


You know you've lost your status of "Cool" when:

You find yourself listening to talk radio.

You daughter says she got pierced and you look at her ears.

The pattern on your shorts and couch match.

You fondly remember your powder blue leisure suit.

Your wife buys a flannel nighty and you find that sexy.

You think "Tragically Hip" is when a middle-aged man gets a new sports car, hair piece and a 20 year old girlfriend.

You criticize the kids of today for their satanic suicide-inducing music,forgetting that you rocked to Alice Cooper and Black Sabbath.

You call the police on a noisy party next door instead of grabbing beer and joining them.

You turn down free tickets to a rock concert because you have to work the next day.

When grass is something that you cut, not cultivate.

When jogging is something you do to your memory.

Rocking all night means dozing off in your rocking chair.

Sex becomes "all that foolishness."

Getting a little action means your prune juice is working.

All the cars behind you turn on their headlights.

You bought your first car for the same price you paid for your son's new running shoes.

You actually ASK for your father's advice.

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