Funny: Some jokes

A preacher was making his rounds to his parishioners on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawnmower. "How much do you want for the mower?" asked the preacher.

"I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle," said the little boy.

After a moment of consideration, the preacher asked, "Will you take my bike in trade for it?"

The little boy asked if he could try it out first, and after riding the bike around a little while said, "Mister, you've got yourself a deal."

The preacher took the mower and began to try to crank it. He pulled on the string a few times with no response from the mower. The preacher called the little boy over and said, "I can't get this mower to start."

The little boy said, "That's because you have to cuss at it to get it started."

The preacher said, "I am a minister, and I cannot cuss. It has been so long since I have been saved that I do not even remember how to cuss."

The little boy looked at him happily and said, "Just keep pulling on that string. It'll come back to ya!"

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Attention Children - The Bathroom Door Is Closed!

• Please do not stand here and talk, whine, or ask questions.

• Wait until I get out.

• Yes, it is locked. I want it that way. It is not broken, and I am not trapped.

• I know I have left it unlocked, and even open at times, since you were born, because I was afraid some horrible tragedy might occur while I was in there, but it's been 10 years and I want some PRIVACY.

• Do not ask me how long I will be. I will come out when I am done.

• Do not bring the phone to the bathroom door.

• Do not go running back to the phone yelling "She's in the BATHROOM!"

• Do not begin to fight as soon as I go in.

• Do not stick your little fingers under the door and wiggle them. This was funny when you were two.

• Do not slide pennies, LEGOs, or notes under the door. Even when you were two this got a little tiresome.

• If you have followed me down the hall talking, and are still talking as you face this closed door, please turn around, walk away, and wait for me in another room. I will be glad to listen to you when I am done.

• And yes, I still love you.

Signed,

Mom