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Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Funny: Some jokes

"How come you're late?" asked the bartender, as the blonde waitress walked into the bar.

"It was awful," she explained. "I was walking down Elm street and there was a terrible accident. A man was thrown from his car and he was lying in the middle of the street. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course.

"What did you do?" asked the bartender.

"I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!"


Ten things you wish you could say at work

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of crap.

2. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a hoot.

3. How about "never?" Is "never" good for you?

4. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

5. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

6. Ahhh, I see the mess-up fairy has visited us again.

7. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

8. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

9. Are you coming on to me or having a seizure?

10. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

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