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Thursday, March 24, 2016

Funny: Some jokes

The family had spent the day moving from their farmhouse into a new apartment house in town. Very early the next morning, the 3 1/2-year-old ran into their bedroom to wake them up. Mom dressed him and told him to play in the yard and let them rest for a while longer.

About 20 minutes later, he came running back. "Mommy, Mommy," he exclaimed, "everybody has doorbells ... and they all work!"


A skinhead and his girlfriend were walking down Main Street when she spotted a beautiful diamond ring in a
jewelry store window. "Wow, I'd sure love to have that!" she said.

"No problem, baby," the skinhead said, throwing a brick through the glass and grabbing the ring.

A few blocks later, his girlfriend was admiring a black leather jacket in another shop window. "What I'd give
to own that!" she said.

"Sure thing, darling," the skinhead said, throwing another brick through the window and snatching the

Finally, turning for home, they pass a Mercedes car dealership. "Boy, I'd do anything for one of those!"
she said to her boyfriend.

"Damn, baby!" the skinhead cried. "Do you think I'm made of bricks?"


A newlywed sailor was transferred to a remote island in the South Pacific for 2 years. He soon began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a letter.

"My darling," he wrote, "it looks like we're going to be apart for a very long time. Already I'm starting to miss you and there's really not much to do here in the evenings. Besides that, we're constantly surrounded by attractive young native girls. Do you think if I had a hobby of some kind I would not be so tempted?"

So his wife sent him back a harmonica saying,  "Why don't you learn to play this?"

Eventually his tour of duty came to an end and he rushed back to his wife. "Darling," he said, "I can't wait to get you into bed so that we can make passionate love!"

"First, let me see you play that harmonica!"

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