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Saturday, March 26, 2016

Funny: Some jokes

Bob, an experienced sky diver, was getting ready for a jump one day when he spotted another man outfitted to dive wearing dark glasses, carrying a white cane and holding a seeing-eye dog by an extremely long leash.

Shocked that the blind man was also going to jump, Bob struck up a conversation, expressing his admiration for the man's courage.

Then, curious, he asked, "How do you know when the ground is getting close?"

"Easy," replied the blind man. "The leash goes slack."


The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a new born baby.

Furious, he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge.

"Was it my friend Sam", he demanded.

"No !" his weeping wife replied.

"Was it my friend Jim then?" he asked.

"NO !!!" she said even more upset.

"Well which one of my no good friends did this then?" he asked.

"Don't you think I have any friends of my own?" she snapped.



10. You're so tired, you now answer the phone with "Go to Hell."

9. Your friends call to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, "Stop asking me all these damn questions!"

8. Your garbage can IS your "In" box.

7. You wake up to discover your house is on fire, but go back to sleep because you just don't care.

6. You consider a 40 hour week a vacation.

5. Visions of the upcoming weekend help you make it through Monday.

4. You don't set your alarm anymore because you know your pager will go off before your alarm does.

3. You leave for a party and instinctively bring your ID badge.

2. Your DayTimer/Work Planner exploded a week ago.

And the NUMBER ONE sign that you are burned out because of work.....

1. You think about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now.

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