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Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Funny: Some jokes

John bought his new colleague, Peter, home for dinner. As they arrived at the door his wife rushed up, threw her arms around John and kissed him passionately.

"My goodness," said Peter, "and how long have you been married?"

"22 years," replied John.

"You must have a fantastic marriage if your wife greets you like that after all those years."

"Don't be fooled... She only does it to make the dog jealous."

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It seems that a young man volunteered for military service during World War II. He had such a high aptitude for aviation that he was sent right to Pensacola skipping boot camp.

The very first day at Pensacola he solos and is the best flier on the base. All they could do was give him his gold wings and assign him immediately to an aircraft carrier in the Pacific.

On his first day aboard he took off and single-handedly shot down 6 Japanese Zeroes. Then climbing up to 20,000 ft. he found 9 more Japanese planes and shot them all down, too.

Noting that his fuel was getting low, he descended, circled the carrier and came in for a perfect landing on the deck. He threw back the canopy, climbed out and jogged over to the captain. Saluting smartly he said, "Well sir, how did I do on my very first day?"


The captain turned around, bowed, and replied, "You make one velly impoltant mistake!"

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At the end of my factory shift, I was asked to purchase some supplies. The machines' conveyor belts needed talcum powder to prevent them from sticking, and we had run out of aspirin for workers with noise-induced tension headaches.

I drove to the nearest store and loaded a shopping cart with four cases of baby powder and several boxes of aspirin.

As the man behind me in the checkout line peered at my purchases, he laughed and exclaimed, "Must be one heck of a kid!"

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