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Thursday, March 17, 2016

Funny: Some jokes

I sat there waiting for my new doctor to make his way through the file that contained my very extensive medical history.

After he finished all 17 pages, he looked up at me and said, "You look better in person than you do on paper."


Kathy offered to care for the six-year-old son of her next-door neighbor. She arrived in time to prepare breakfast, laying a generous helping of bacon and eggs in front of the child.

"Mother always serves hot biscuits for breakfast," said the six-year-old.

So, Kathy, very eager to oblige, hurried into the kitchen and quickly prepared a plate of hot biscuits, which she laid in front of the boy.

"No, thank you," he said.

"But I thought you said your mother always prepares hot biscuits for breakfast!" said Kathy in surprise.

"She does," said the child. "But I don't eat them."


An admonition

Old Grandpa went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and 4-year-old grandson.  The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.  The family ate together at the table.  But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing eyesight made eating difficult.  Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor.  When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.  The son and his wife became irritated with the mess.  "We must do something about Grandpa," said the son.  "I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating and food on the floor."

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner.  There Grandpa ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner.  Since Grandpa had a broken dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.  When the family glanced in Grandpa's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone.  Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The 4-year-old watched it all in silence.  One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor.  He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?"

Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mom to eat your food in when I grow up."

The 4-year-old smiled and went back to work.

The words so struck the parents that they were speechless.  Then tears started to stream down their cheeks.  Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.  That evening the husband took Grandpa's hand and gently led him back to the family table.  For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family.  And for some reason, neither husband nor wife, seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

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