• "Since my last report, this employee has reached
rock-bottom and has started to dig."
• "I would not allow this employee to breed."
• "This employee is really not so much of a
has-been, but more of a definite won't be."
• "Works well when under constant supervision and
cornered like a rat in a trap."
• "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is
only to change feet."
• "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot
puddle."
• "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
• "He sets low personal standards and then
consistently fails to achieve them."
• "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of
an idiot."
• "This employee should go far, and the sooner he
starts, the better."
• "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy
to hold it all together."
• "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an
ordinary ignoramus."
• "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
• "I would like to go hunting with him
sometime."
• "He's been working with glue too much."
• "He would argue with a signpost."
• "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the
room."
• "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
• "If you see two people talking and one looks
bored, he's the other one."
• "A photographic memory but with the lens cover
glued on."
• "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
• "Donated his brain to science before he was done
using it."
• "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the
train isn't coming."
• "He's got two brains, one is lost and the other is
out looking for it."
• "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be
watered twice a week."
• "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd
get change."
• "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear
the ocean."
• "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other
sperm."
• "One neuron short of a synapse."
• "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he
only gargled."
• "Takes him 2 hours to watch '60-minutes'."
• "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is
dead."
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