Funny: Some jokes

A Pennsylvania State Trooper pulled a car over on I-81 about 2 miles north of the Pa/Md state line. When the Trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and a juggler and he was on his way to Harrisburg to do a show that night at the Zembo Shrine Circus and didn't want to be late.

The Trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn't give him a ticket.

The driver told the Trooper that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.

The Trooper told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his patrol car and asked if he could juggle them.

The juggler stated that he could, so the Trooper got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler. While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled in behind the patrol car.  A drunk got out and watched the performance briefly.  He then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in.

The Trooper observed him doing this and went over to the patrol car, opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing.

The drunk replied, "You might as well take me to jail, cause there's no way I can pass that test!"

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As a Dominican sister, I lived in a convent named for a deceased pope. One day while I was wearing contemporary clothes instead of my habit, I drove into a gas station to get the communal car filled up.

After the young attendant topped off the tank, he walked toward my car window to return my credit card.  It was clear from his furrowed brow that he had something on his mind. The young man looked at me shyly and pointed to the convent's name, John XXIII Hall, imprinted on the card.

"Pardon me," he asked hesitantly, "but how do you pronounce your husband's middle name?"

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A couple were discussing their wallpaper, which had just been hung.

Debbie was annoyed at Dave's indifference to what he felt was a poor job. "The problem is that I'm a perfectionist and you're not," she finally said to him.

"Exactly!" he replied. "That's why you married me and I married you!"