Funny: Some jokes

Seems this Catholic priest was feeling despondent over being posted to a dry, desert parish. He wrote letters to his bishop constantly, requesting that he be posted somewhere more hospitable. No reply to his letters ever came, and soon the letters stopped.

Some time later, when the archbishop was making the rounds of the rural churches, he stopped in to see how the unhappy priest was doing. He found a pleasant man, in an air-conditioned church. There were no parishioners, since the closest neighbors were many miles away. The archbishop admitted to some confusion, since the priest did not look like the desperate writer of so many letters. He asked the priest how he liked it out in the desert.

"At first I was unhappy. But thanks to two things I have grown to love it out here in the sparse desert."

"And they are?" the archbishop inquired.

"The first is my Rosary. Without my Rosary I wouldn't make it a day out here."

"And the second?"

At this the priest looked askance. "Well, to be honest, I have developed a taste for martinis in the afternoon. They help to alleviate the heat during the worst part of the day." He looked sheepish at this admission, but the archbishop just smiled.

"Martinis, eh? Well, that's not so bad. In fact, I'd be glad to share one with you right now, if you don't mind that is."

"Not at all!" the priest exulted. "Let me get one for you right away."

Turning to the back of the church, the priest shouted, "Oh, Rosary..."

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A man goes to the police station to talk to the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

"You'll get your chance in court," said the Desk Sergeant, when he asked what the man wanted.

"No, no, no!" says the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"