Funny: Some jokes

Jeff beckoned to a salesman in the department store, pointed to white wool designer dress on a mannequin that Eunice was admiring, and asked, "Excuse me young lady, how much is this dress?"

"That dress is $899.95, Sir," sneered the rather snotty saleswoman.

"$899.95? For $99.95 I could get the same dress at the Bargain Store downtown!"

"But sir," said the saleswoman, "You'll find that the dress downtown is recycled wool. This original is 100% pure virgin wool."

"Jeff says, So? For $800 I should care what the lambs do at night?"

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I was trying to get my seventh-grade history class to understand how the Indians must have felt when they first encountered the Spanish explorers.

"How would you feel," I asked, "if someone showed up on your doorstep who looked very different, spoke a
strange language and wore unusual clothes? Wouldn't you be a bit scared?"

"Nah," one boy answered, "I'd just figure it was my sister's date."

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A family took their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and admitted her, hoping she would be well cared for.

The next morning, the nurses bathed her, fed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rushed up to catch her and straighten her up.

Again she seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt over to her other side. The nurses rushed back and once more brought her back upright. This went on all morning.

Later, the family arrived to see how the old woman was adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?"

"It's pretty nice," she replied. "Everyone here is so nice and helpful. There's only one problem."

"What is it Ma?"

"They won't let me fart."