Jokes

1. DOCTORS OFFICE

A man goes to the doctor's office one day. The nurse, quite attractive, says, "The doctor is over at the hospital right now. He won't be back for about an hour. Could you tell me your symptoms, please?"

He tells her.

She looks at him appraisingly and decides he's just tense. She offers, "Well, um, for $50, I've got just the thing for you!"

He agrees, and she takes him into an examining room and screws the daylights out of him.

About a week later, he returns, only to find that the doctor is there. The doctor listens to the man's symptoms, examines him, and decides the man is just tense... he writes out a prescription for a sedative and says, "That'll be $150 for this visit."

The man says, "If it's all the same to you, doctor, I'd rather have the $50 cure!"


2. CONGREGATIONS

Two rabbis - one Reformed and the other Orthodox - were discussing their respective congregations one day.

The Reformed rabbi asked the Orthodox leader, "Why don't you let the men and women of your congregation sit together, as they do in my temple?"

The Orthodox rabbi - known for his sense of humor - replied, "If you want to know the truth, I don't really mind them sitting together at all. But, you see, my sermons aren't that interesting and I just can't have them sleeping together"



3. At the retreat, Jane and Joe were told to individually write a sentence using the words 'sex' and 'love.'

Jane wrote: 'When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love with one another to a high degree and that they respect each other very much, just like Joe and I, it is spiritually and morally acceptable for them to engage in the act of physical sex with one another.'

And Joe wrote: 'I love sex.'


4. Father : "I want you to marry a girl of my choice"
Son : "I will choose my own bride!"
Father : "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...ok"

Next - Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father : "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates : "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates : "Ah, in that case...ok"

Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President : "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father : "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case...ok"

This is how business is done!!

Moral: Even If you have nothing You can get Anything.
But your attitude should be positive.