Jokes

1. Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m., I discovered
that it had not been one of my wife's better days. Nothing I said
or did seemed to be right.

By 7 p.m. things had not changed, so I suggested I go outside,
pretend I had just got home, and start all over again. My wife
agreed.

I went outside, came back in and, with a big smile, announced,
"Honey, I'm home!"

"And just where have you been?" she replied sharply "It's after
seven o'clock!


2. A man goes to the doctor with a swollen leg.

After a careful examination, the doctor gives the man a pill big
enough to choke a horse.

"I'll be right back with some water," the doctor tells him.

The doctor has been gone a while and the man loses patience.

He hobbles out to the drinking fountain, forces the pill down his
throat and gobbles down water until the pill clears his throat.

He hobbles back into the examining room.

The doctor comes back with a bucket of warm water.

"Ok, after the tablet dissolves, soak that leg for at least 30 minutes."