Jokes

1. PARENTS NASTY DIVORCE

Amy's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement -- not even her parents' nasty divorce.

A few days before the wedding, Amy's mother showed her the new dress she had bought for the wedding. It was the PERFECT dress to wear and she was sure to be the best-dressed mother of the bride ever!

The next day, however, Amy was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Amy went to her and asked her to exchange it, but she refused.

"Absolutely not. I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it," she replied.

Amy told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart, I'll just get another dress. After all, it's your special day."

A few days later, they went shopping and she found another dress. When they stopped for lunch, Amy asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it."

Amy's mom just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner!"


2. A family was on its way to the hospital where their
16-year-old daughter was scheduled to undergo a
Tonsillectomy.

During the ride, the teenager and her parents talked
About how the procedure would be performed.

"Dad," the teenager asked, "How are they going to keep
My mouth open during the surgery?"

Without hesitation, he said, "They're going to give you a phone."



2.