Jokes

1. A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his
Sunday sermon.**
**

Four worms were placed into four separate jars. **
**

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm
was put into a container of good clean soil. **
**

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following
results: **
**

The first worm in alcohol - **Dead.**

The second worm in cigarette smoke - **Dead** **

Third worm in chocolate syrup - **Dead** **

Fourth worm in good clean soil - **Alive.** **
**

So the Minister asked the congregation - **

What can you learn from this demonstration? **

Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,**
**

"As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"



2. HENPECKED HUSBAND!

He wears the pants in the house - under his apron.

He has two chances of winning an argument with her, slim and none.

He comes right out and says what she tells him to think.

She does not have to raise the roof; all she has to do is raise an eyebrow.

He always has the last word - he says, "I apologize".

He was a man about town, she has turned him into a mouse around the house.

The last big decision she let him make was whether to wash or to dry.

He put a ring on her finger and she put one through his nose.

He was a dude before marriage - now he is subdued.

He goes to a woman dentist...
it's a relief to be told to open his mouth instead of to shut



3. The wife appeared before the judge and said, "I want a divorce from
that jerk over there."

The judge said, "Why do you want the divorce?"

"Because he's a terrible lover."

The judge asked, "How long have you been married?"

"Fourteen years," she replied.

"I don't understand. Why did you wait fourteen years to divorce
your husband for being a terrible lover?"

She said, "Because, your Honor, until this insurance salesman stopped
by my house last week, I didn't know."



4. I was in a church meeting where the topic "Burial or Cremation?" was
discussed.

Two of the people got rather worked up.

One said to the other, "If you have yourself cremated, all you will
be doing is...making an ash of yourself!"

The other replied, "Well, I'm told that petroleum comes from
fossilized bones, so if you have your buried all you will be doing is
making a fuel of yourself!"