Joke

1. A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race come about?"
The mother answered; "God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so all mankind was made."

Two days later she asks her father the same question. The father answered; "Many years ago there were monkeys, and we developed from them."

The confused girl returns to her mother and says; "Mom, how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God and Dad says we developed from monkeys?"

The mother answers, "Well dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family, and your father told you about his side."


2. Before marriage....
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?

He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?

He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?

He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?

He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?

He: Yes.
She: Darling!

After marriage....
Simply read from bottom to top.



3. A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education than a cop from Houston. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Texas deputy's expense.
The deputy says, "License and registration, please."
"What for?" says the lawyer.
The deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."
Then the lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
"You still didn't come to a complete stop " Says the deputy. "License and registration, please."
The lawyer says, "What's the difference?"
"The difference is you have to come to complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!" the Deputy says.
Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."
"That sounds fair. Please exit your vehicle, sir," the deputy says.
At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the daylights out of the lawyer and says, "Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?"


4. A blonde wanted to go ice fishing.
She'd seen many books on the subject And, finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice.
After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
Startled, the blonde moved farther down the ice, poured a thermos of Cappuccino and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heavens The voice bellowed,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
The blonde, now worried, moved clear down to the opposite end of the Ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
She stopped, looked skyward, and asked, "IS THAT YOU, LORD?"
The voice replied, "NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RINK."