HOW TO PHOTOGRAPH A PUPPY

HOW TO PHOTOGRAPH A PUPPY

* Remove film from box and load camera

* Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash

* Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle

* Choose a suitable background for photo

* Mount camera on tripod and focus

* Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth

* Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera

* Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees

* Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand

* Get tissue and clean nose print from lens

* Take flash cube from puppy's mouth and throw in trash

* Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose

* Put magazines back on coffee table

* Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head

* Replace your glasses and check camera for damage

* Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say, "No, outside! No, outside!"

* Call spouse to clean up mess

* Fix a drink

* Sit back on settee with drink and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the morning