Joke

1. A defendant was asked if he wanted a bench trial or a jury trial. "Jury trial," the defendant replied.

"Do you understand the difference?" asked the judge.

"Sure," replied the defendant, "That's where twelve ignorant people decide my fate instead of one."



2. A couple, hosting a dinner party, were interrupted when the maid called the
hostess to the kitchen. "Ma'am, the cat climbed up on the kitchen counter and ate the middle of the
salmon."
Light on her feet, the hostess told her to replace the missing portion with canned salmon, then returned to her guests. As everyone enjoyed the fish, the maid summoned the hostess into the kitchen again.
"Ma'am, the cat is dead!"
The frightened hostess felt obliged to inform her guests and suggested everyone go to the hospital together to get their stomachs pumped. Returning home after their long, expensive, and embarrassing ordeal, she asked the maid where she had put the cat. "Nowhere, Ma'am. It's still out in the street where the car hit it!"