Bad jokes

Compound Word Riddles
Q: How does the CIA know what people say in their sleep?

A: They plant bedbugs.

Q: Where do cars go when it gets hot?

A: To a carpool.

Q: What does the dog catcher give dogs on their birthdays?

A: Poundcake.

Q: Who stands behind home plate waiting for someone to throw him a dog?

A: A dogcatcher.

Q: Why is the bluebird blue?

A: Because the mockingbird is always mocking him.

Q: What do you get if you cross a pit bull with a snowman?

A: A frostbite.

Q: What do you call a sparrow in a tornado?

A: A whirlybird.

Q: Why doesn't the army let chickens be soldiers?

A: Because the chickens would get eaten in the foxholes.

Q: What do you get if you cut off a lion's mane while he's sleeping?

A: A wildcat.

Q: Why did the cowboy send his horse up in a rocket?

A: Because he wanted to see a horsefly.

Q: What horses swim the best?

A: Seahorses.

Q: What time is it when you have to find the sum of two numbers?

A: Summertime.

Q: When astronauts get married, where do they go?

A: On honeymoons.

Q: Where do duck beak sellers advertise their goods?

A: On billboards.

Q: What kind of dog has the most ticks?

A: A watchdog.

Q: What insect did Dorothy see in the tornado?

A: A housefly.

Q: We know that it sometimes rains cats and dogs, but what do you call it when it rains ducks?

A: A downpour.

Q: What time is it when you turn into a frog?

A: Springtime.

Q: What do you get if you cover your steps with ducks?

A: Downstairs.

Q: When do bad days usually fall apart?

A: At daybreak.

Q: How did the car owner feel when his car ran over him?

A: Rundown.

Q: What did Tom Thumb do for a living?

A: He was a handyman.

Q: What instrument did the wolf use to knock down the second little pigs house?

A: A woodwind.

Q: Where did the giant want to cook Jack?

A: In a jackpot.

Q: What did the lion tamer die of?

A: Catnip.

Q: What do chickens grow on?

A: Eggplants.

Q: What kind of nail do carpenter's avoid?

A: Fingernails.

Q: What part of a newspaper do angry people like best?

A: The crossword puzzle.

Q: Who did the fairy godmother provide to guard Cinderella's glass slippers?

A: The footmen.

Q: Why did the firechief ban fireflies from the forest?

A: Because they're firebugs.

Q: Why doesn't the union like dockworkers who work for nothing?

A: Because they're freeloaders.

Q: Why don't seismologists have many friends?

A: Because they're faultfinders.

Some Silly Compound Word Riddles

Q: Why did Mr. Silly ask a witch to turn him into a frog?

A: Because he wanted to be a navy frogman.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly build his house out of balsa wood?

A: Because he wanted to live in a lighthouse.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly burn his rifle?

A: Because he wanted to hear gunfire.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly bury his cow and his dishes?

A: Because he wanted to grow buttercups.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly buy an octopus?

A: Because he wanted to build an armchair.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly buy the Florida Keys?

A: Because he'd heard that Kansas is landlocked.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly drop bubble gum from a skyscraper?

A: Because he wanted to see a gumdrop.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly eat a pound of sugar?

A: Because he wanted to have a sweetheart.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly feed grass to his pet frog?

A: So it would be a grasshopper.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly feed his wristwatch to his puppy?

A: Because he wanted a watchdog.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly get on his knees?

A: So he could eat his shortcake.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly keep a key in his mouth?

A: In case he got lockjaw.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly nail his store to the ground?

A: So a shoplifter wouldn't pick it up and carry it away.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly paint his friend blue?

A: Because he wanted a trueblue friend.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly put a lion in an airplane?

A: Because he wanted to create an uproar.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly put a mast on his house?

A: Because he wanted his house to be shipshape.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly put an umbrella in his ear?

A: Because he was planning to do some brainstorming.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly put his cat on a Xerox machine?

A: Because he wanted a copycat.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly put his shoe in his ear?

A: So he could listen to his shoehorn.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly stick drumsticks in his ears?

A: So he could play his eardrums.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly swallow a fire extinguisher?

A: To put out his heartburn.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly swallow a kettle?

A: Because he wanted to have a potbelly.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly take a fishing pole to the moon?

A: So he could catch starfish.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly take his goldfish to a bowling alley?

A: Because he wanted to see a fishbowl.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly water his chickens?

A: So he could grow eggplants.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly wear plastic clothes?

A: So his raincoat wouldn't get him wet.

Q: Why wouldn't Mr. Silly take his bluejay for a walk?

A: Because it's against the law to jaywalk.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly tie a million helium balloons to his house?

A: Because he wanted to see a housefly.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly play the piano with his feet?

A: Because he wanted to hear footnotes.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly want a typewriter put in his coffin when he died?

A: Because he wanted to be a ghostwriter.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly keep a tight hold on his wife's hands?

A: He'd heard his neighbors like to eat ladyfingers.

Q: Why did Mr. Silly take a shield with him when he went fishing?

A: In case he caught a swordfish.

Q: What happened to Mr. Silly's snowshoes?

A: They melted.