These are some beautiful images on this page (link), courtesy Nasa as well.
The images you see in the link above were taken at the turn of the Millennium, when NASA’s scientists had a brilliant idea: to scan through 400,000 images taken by the Landsat 7 satellite and display only the most the most beautiful. A handful of the best were painstakingly chosen and then displayed at the Library of Congress in 2000.
These are photos of different countries, river systems, and so on.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
These are some beautiful images on this page (link), courtesy Nasa as well.
This will reveal your true character,,,,,,,,fascinating!! Think very carefully before answering...
This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.
Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.
Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.
You are in Pakistan , Rawalpindi to be specific. There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of Noah proportions as Mentioned In Quran. You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless.
You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing into the water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.
Suddenly, you see a man in the water. He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer... Somehow, the man looks familiar... You suddenly realise who it is... It's Pervez Musharraf the Pakistani President! You notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever.
You have two options:
You can save the life of Parvez Musharraf or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the country's most powerful men!
Here's the question, and please give an honest answer... Would you select high contrast colour film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?
A couple had only been married for two weeks the husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back." Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the bar,
Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... you know...they have frozen glasses... "
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips. "But my Sweet Honey... at the bar.... you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."
"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP CHICKEN SHIT! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER. GOT IT, JACKASS?"
And, they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story?
Monday, July 21, 2008
Most people who have a computer at home have no idea about what constitutes a good security policy, or what they need to do to make sure that their computers are not remotely taken over by hackers. So, here is a good article that talks about all this:
I've come up with a list of steps that, if followed, would contribute an immense amount to the security of most user's computers. I'd like all my readers to print it out and walk through it with their family, friends, churches, and clubs. Fill it in with them, or better yet, explain to them how to fill it in. If they need to know more about an item, point them back to this page and tell them to click on the links I've provided. After the checklist is filled in, tell them to post it next to their computers or in a safe place, but tell them to refer to it if they have any questions.
This is a pretty great checklist. It ensures that you have put your mind to a number of issues such as browser security, anti-virus, email, etc.
PC Tools Firewall Plus is a powerful free personal firewall for Windows® that protects your computer by preventing unauthorized users from gaining access to your computer through the Internet or a network. By monitoring applications that connect to the network Firewall Plus can stop Trojans, backdoors, keyloggers and other malware from damaging your computer and stealing your private information.
PC Tools Firewall Plus is advanced technology designed especially for people, not just experts. Powerful prevention against attacks and known exploits is activated by default while experienced users can optionally create their own advanced packet filtering rules, including IPv6 support, to customize the network defenses. All you need to do is install it for immediate and automatic ongoing protection.
Available for download at this link.
People are constantly searching for new games and puzzles. Here is one more, with this site (link) allowing people to play single-player or multi-player games. Some of the games available include Chess, Marbles, Pool Zapak, Checkers, Backgammon, Tic Tac Toe, Four in a Row, Darts, 8-Ball, Reversi, Sudoku, Poker, Mahjong Dynasty, etc.
Imagine farming using sea water ! But this person is doing exactly that (link). Carl Hodges is growing salicornia, a crop nourished by ocean water that holds the potential to provide food and fuel to millions.
A few miles inland from the Sea of Cortez, amid cracked earth and mesquite and sun-bleached cactus, neat rows of emerald plants are sprouting from the desert floor. The crop is salicornia. It is nourished by seawater flowing from a man-made canal. And if you believe the American who is farming it, this incongruous swath of green has the potential to feed the world, fuel our vehicles and slow global warming.
The Earth's ice sheets are melting fast. Scientists predict that rising seas could swallow some low-lying areas, displacing millions of people. Hodges sees opportunity. Why not divert the flow inland to create wealth and jobs instead of catastrophe? He wants to channel the ocean into man-made "rivers" to nourish commercial aquaculture operations, mangrove forests and crops that produce food and fuel. This greening of desert coastlines, he said, could add millions of acres of productive farmland and sequester vast quantities of carbon dioxide, the primary culprit in global warming. Hodges contends that it could also neutralize sea-level rise, in part by using exhausted freshwater aquifers as gigantic natural storage tanks for ocean water.
An interesting project (link) to control swine manure by half.
This project employs black soldier fly larvae to digest swine manure, thus reducing the amount of manure by half, reducing nutrients, eliminating house fly breeding, reducing odor and producing a value-added product that may be used as an animal feed ingredient.
The use of fly larvae, or maggots, to digest manure has been widely studied; however, the cost of separating the larvae or pupae from manure residues made systems that use fly larvae to treat manure expensive. The researchers involved in this project have developed a simple system to force black soldier fly prepupae to self-harvest with no external energy requirements, making industrial scale culture on manure practical with this native, non-pest fly. This system can be readily retrofitted to existing swine facilities using the manure handling belt proposed by Gannett Fleming Inc.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
It seems that these four rabbis had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth.
One day, the odd rabbi out, after the usual "3 to 1, majority rules" statement that signified that he had lost again, decided to appeal to a higher authority. "Oh, God!" he cried. "I know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please give me a sign to prove it to them!"
It was a beautiful, sunny day, but as soon as the rabbi finished his prayer, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It rumbled once and dissolved. "A sign from God! See, I'm right, I knew it!"
But the other three disagreed, pointing out that storm clouds form on hot days. So the rabbi prayed again: "Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right and they are wrong!"
This time four storm clouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning slammed into a tree on a nearby hill. "I told you I was right!" cried the rabbi, but his friends insisted that nothing had happened that could not be explained by natural causes.
The rabbi was getting ready to ask for a *very big* sign, but just as he said, "Oh God...," the sky turned pitch black, the earth shook, and a deep, booming voice intoned, "HE'S RIGHT!"
The rabbi put his hands on his hips, turned to the other three, and said, "Well?"
"So," shrugged one of the other rabbis, "now it's 3 to 2."
A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he suddenly found himself at the Gates of Heaven.
St. Peter started to escort him inside, when he began to protest that his untimely death had to be some sort of mistake. "I'm much too young to die! I'm only 35!"
St. Peter agreed that 35 did seem to be a bit young to be entering the Pearly Gates, and agreed to check on his case.
After investigating, he told the attorney, "I'm afraid that there is no mistake my son... We verified your age on the basis of the number of hours you've billed to your clients, and according to that, you're at least 108 years old!"
A young man was having some money problems, and needed $200 to get his car fixed and roadworthy again, but he had run out of people to borrow from. So, he calls his parents via the operator, and reverses the charge and gets his father.
"I need to borrow two hundred dollars," he says.
At the other end, his father says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, son, I think there may be a bad line."
The boy shouts, "Two hundred. I need two hundred dollars!"
"Sorry, I still can't hear you clearly," says his father.
The operator cuts in, "Sorry to butt in, but I can hear him perfectly clearly."
The father says, "Good. YOU send him the money!"
An old pastor lay dying. He sent a message for an IRS agent and his lawyer to come to the hospital. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his room.
As they entered the room, the pastor held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The pastor grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled, and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything.
Both the IRS agent and lawyer were touched and flattered that the old man would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled because the pastor had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them.
Finally, the lawyer asked, "Pastor, why did you ask the two of us to come here?"
The old pastor mustered all his strength, then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go."
Fred was well known for his cheapness and his 'eye for a bargain'. One day he was looking for a cheap wedding present for his niece, so he went into a thrift shop.
As he was walking around, he noticed what was previously an expensive glass crystal vase lying in the corner. It was in three pieces. After some haggling with the owner, Fred bought the broken vase for $5. He then filled in the congratulations card, wrote out his niece's name and address and gave the owner another $5 so that the broken vase could be gift wrapped and mailed. Fred then left the shop feeling quite pleased with himself. He expected his niece to think the vase had been broken in the mail.
A few days later, he called his niece to see if the present had arrived. "Yes, Uncle Fred, but unfortunately it was in 3 pieces when it was delivered."
"What terrible luck!" said Fred. "The Post Office is getting worse all the time!"
"It is a shame," she replied, "and it was so beautifully wrapped too... each piece separately."
1 1/2 to 2 pounds small kohlrabi, washed, trimmed of leaves and stems
3 small onions (about 1/2 pound)
1/4 cup pickling salt
1 quart ice water
2 cups vinegar
2/3 cup sugar
1 tablespoon mustard seed
1 teaspoon celery seed
1/4 teaspoon turmeric
Peel and thinly slice kohlrabi and onions. Place in a large bowl. Mix together the pickling salt with the ice water. Pour the water mixture over the kohlrabi and onions and soak for 3 hours. Drain, rinse and place the kohlrabi and onions in a medium
In a medium saucepan, place the vinegar, sugar, mustard seed, celery seed and turmeric. Bring to a boil and cook for 3 minutes. Pour the vinegar mixture over the vegetables. Cool, cover and refrigerate for up to 3 days.
Makes 1 quart; analysis per 1/4-cup serving.
3 medium kohlrabi
Nonstick cooking spray
1/2 cup sliced onions
1/2 cup sliced mushrooms
1 1/2 tablespoons oyster sauce
2 tablespoons fresh chopped parsley
2 tablespoons butter
12 ounces broiled lean sirloin, cut into strips
2 cups cooked vermicelli
Black pepper to taste
Cut the leaves and stems from the kohlrabi bulbs. Trim the bulbs to remove all trace of the skin and fibrous underlayer. Or cook whole kohlrabi, cool briefly, then peel. Cut the kohlrabi into 1/2-inch chunks.
You should have 2 cups.
Meanwhile, spray a nonstick skillet with cooking spray. Add the onions and cook over medium heat for 2 minutes. Add the kohlrabi chunks, mushrooms, oyster sauce, parsley and butter. Cover and cook over medium heat for about 5 minutes. Add the broiled beef strips and cooked vermicelli and cook over medium heat, tossing frequently, until the
meat is heated through. Season mixture with pepper to taste, then serve.
Makes 4 servings.
6 medium kohlrabi, stems and leaves removed, peeled and julienned (about 4 cups)
1/4 cup rice wine vinegar or white wine vinegar
2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 1/2 teaspoons fresh minced ginger root
1/2 teaspoon dried tarragon
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
Dash of salt
1 small red onion, peeled, ends removed, thinly sliced and separated into rings
1 tablespoon toasted sesame seeds
In a large saucepan, bring 2 quarts of water to a boil; add the kohlrabi and cook until crisp-tender, about 2 minutes. Drain and rinse under cold water. Transfer the kohlrabi to a medium bowl.
To prepare the dressing: In a small bowl, whisk together the rice wine (or white wine) vinegar, red wine vinegar, vegetable oil, ginger, tarragon, crushed red pepper and salt.
Pour dressing over the kohlrabi and toss well. Cover and refrigerate at least 2 hours.
To serve: Place the kohlrabi on a platter. Arrange the red onion rings on top and sprinkle with sesame seeds.
Makes 6 servings.
Sweet carrots and apple-crisp kohlrabi go together perfectly in this variation on traditional coleslaw.
2 tablespoons very finely chopped onion
1/2 cup low fat sour cream
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
2 tablespoons lemon juice
2 tablespoons chopped fresh dill leaf
2 tablespoons chopped parsley
freshly ground pepper to taste
1 1/2 pounds kohlrabi, peeled and shredded (about 4 cups)
2 medium carrots, shredded
In a bowl, combine dressing ingredients and mix well. Add kohlrabi and carrots and toss.
Serves 4 to 6.
3 medium kohlrabis
4 medium carrots
1/4 chopped onion
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons all purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups milk
1/4 cup snipped parsley
1 tablespoon lemon juice
3/4 cup soft bread crumbs
1 tablespoon butter, melted
Peel and slice the kohlrabis. In a covered saucepan cook kohlrabis in a small amount of boiling salted water 15 minutes. Add carrots; cover and continue cooking until vegetables are tender, 10 to 12 minutes more. Drain. In sauce pan cook onion in the 2 tablespoons of butter until tender but not brown. Blend in flour, salt, and dash of pepper. Add milk all at once. Cook and stir until thickened and and bubbly. Stir in
cooked vegetables, parsley, and lemon juice. Turn into 1 quart casserole dish. Combine breadcrumbs and the one teaspoon melted butter; sprinkle around the edge of the casserole. bake at 350 degrees until heated through, 20 to 25 minutes. makes 6 servings.
This is good as a sauce or as a basting for chicken or pork loin roast. Coat the meat while roasting and serve the rest as a sauce on the side.
About 2/3 Cup
1/3 C prepared mustard
3 T honey
2 T olive oil or vegetable oil
1 T red wine or balsamic vinegar
1 t ground sage
½ t salt
½ t freshly ground pepper
Combine all of the ingredients in a small saucepan and mix well to blend. Place over a medium-low heat and heat until very warm, but do not boil.
This sauce adds a liveliness to cooked chicken, pork, or fish---or you may serve it with steamed vegetables.
Makes 1 Cup
5 oz. chunky peanut butter
2 T soy sauce
1/3 C water
3 T sugar
1 T sesame oil
1-½ T rice wine vinegar
6 cloves garlic, minced
1/3 C chopped cilantro, or Chinese parsley
1 T plus 1 t hot chili oil
Beat all ingredients together in an electric mixer. (Do not use a food processor as it may distort the texture and color of this sauce.) Store in the refrigerator in a covered container. This sauce will keep for weeks.
A sauce with many purposes, Green Sauce can be served with thinly sliced roast beef, with hard-boiled eggs, escarole, watercress, fish, and boiled beets. Or mix it into mayonnaise for a salad dressing, sauce almost any cold vegetable with a spoonful or two, excellent over pasta…..
Makes about 2 Cups
1 C olive oil
3 T cider vinegar
1 t kosher or coarse salt
Freshly ground pepper
2 t Dijon mustard
1 rounded T cream style horseradish sauce
4 large cloves garlic
¾ C chopped parsley
3 scallions, green part only
Combine the olive oil, water, vinegar, salt, and pepper to taste in a food processor and process until well blended. Add the mustard, horseradish, garlic, parsley, and scallions, and blend well. Store in an airtight jar in the refrigerator until needed.
A nice complement to baked ham or a slice of pan-fried ham.
Makes about 1-½ Cups
2 T butter
2 T brown sugar
1 T flour
12-oz. can frozen apple cider concentrate or apple juice concentrate, defrosted
1-2 T lemon juice (optional)
Pinch of cloves (optional)
Melt the butter and brown sugar together in a saucepan over moderate heat. Put the flour and 1/3 cup of the apple cider concentrate in a container with a lid. Shake well, until blended and smooth. Add the rest of the apple cider concentrate to the saucepan and stir to blend. Then add the flour mixture and bring it to a boil, stirring constantly. Cook until slightly thickened. Add the optional lemon juice and cloves.
This is very good on pan-fried or steamed fish and is a good sauce to
mix into a stir-fry dish of shrimp, pork, or chicken.
Makes about 1 Cup
¼ C catsup
½ C sugar
¼ C water
¼ C vinegar
2 T lemon juice
2 t soy sauce
1 T cornstarch mixed with 2 T cold water
In a small saucepan, put the catsup, sugar, water, vinegar, lemon juice, and soy sauce. Stir to blend and place over high heat. Just before the sauce comes to a boil, slowly add the cornstarch mixture, stirring constantly, and continue to heat until thickened. Remove from the heat.
This is good with fish, poultry, or pork. Use some during the cooking
and pass the remaining at the table.
Makes about 1 cup
1 T sesame oil
2 T chopped cilantro, or Chinese parsley
2 T soy sauce
3 T white vinegar
4 T chicken broth
¼ C sugar
Place the oil, cilantro, soy sauce, vinegar, chicken broth, and sugar in a small saucepan, and stir to blend. Place over a medium heat and bring to a boil. Remove from the heat.
The tartness of the yogurt makes this a particularly good foil for cold fish or chicken. When you have some homemade green mayonnaise on had in the refrigerator, try this interesting sauce. It is easy enough to increase or decrease the ingredients according to your needs.
Makes 1 Cup
½ C Green Mayonnaise (post later)
½ C yogurt
1 T capers, drained
Fresh lemon juice
Salt to taste
Freshly ground pepper
1 T chopped parsley
Beat the mayonnaise and yogurt together. Add the capers and a few drops of lemon juice to taste, and salt and pepper. Sprinkle on fresh parsley.
This must be used within a few days; after that the greens tend to
turn sour. If you plan to keep it longer, blanch the greens for a
minute in boiling water, then squeeze dry before using.
Makes 1-¾ Cups
¾ C fresh mixed greens: parsley, watercress, young spinach leaves
¼ C fresh basil, tarragon, or dill
1 egg yolk
Freshly ground pepper to taste
1 C olive, peanut, or vegetable oil (r a combination)
1-½ T mild vinegar or lemon juice or a combination
Salt to taste
Place the greens and the herb with the egg, egg yolk, and pepper in an electric blender or food processor and blend until the greens are pureed. Start adding the oil in a slow, thin stream until the mixture becomes too thick, then add the vinegar and/or lemon juice and continue until all the oil is used up. If too thick, add a small amount of boiling water. Taste, add salt, and refrigerate in a covered jar or bowl until needed.
Once the club duffer challenged the local golf pro to a match, with a $100 bet on the side.
"But," said the duffer, "since you're obviously much better than I, to even it up a bit you have to spot me two 'gotchas.'"
The golf pro didn't know what a 'gotcha' was, but he went along with it.
And off they went. Coming back to the 19th hole, the rest of the club members were amazed to see the golf pro paying the duffer $100.
"What happened?" asked one of the members.
"Well, "said the pro. "l was teeing up for the first hole, and as I brought the club down, the jerk stuck his hand between my legs and grabbed my balls while yelling "Gotcha!"
"Ouch!" said the guy "I can see why you lost that hole but how come you lost the game?"
"Have you ever tried to play 18 holes of golf waiting for the second *gotcha*?"
A guy goes into a drugstore to buy condoms.
"What size?" asks the clerk.
"Gee, I don't know." "Go see Sophie in aisle 4."
He goes over to see Sophie, who grabs him in the crotch, and yells, "Medium!"
The guy is mortified! He hurries over to pay and leaves quickly.
Another guy comes in to buy condoms, and gets sent to Sophie in aisle 4.
Sophie grabs him and yells, "Large!"
The guy struts over to the register, pays, and leaves.
A high school kid comes in to buy condoms.
The kid embarassedly says "I've never done this before. I don't know what size."
The clerk sends him over to Sophie in aisle 4.
She grabs him and yells... "Clean up in aisle 4!"
* The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
* The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
* The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
* If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
* The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
* The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
* Never worry about the bullet with your name on it. Instead, worry about shrapnel addressed to 'occupant'.
* All battles are fought uphill and in the rain.
* Tracers works both ways.
* If the enemy is in range, so are you.
* War is like love. To triumph, you must make contact.
* It isn't necessary to be an idiot to be a senior officer, but it sure helps.
* Your equipment was made by the lowest bidder.
A thin, slightly sweet sauce of fresh mint in tart vinegar: so much better than the bright-green commercial mint jelly. It is very good made with fresh spearmint.
Makes ½ Cup
½ C white vinegar
¼ C sugar
½ C minced mint leaves
Put the vinegar and sugar in a small pan. Heat until it boils and the sugar dissolves. Pour the hot sauce over the mint and let stand at least 1 hour.
A basic barbecue sauce with a pepper taste; good on pork chops,
spareribs, and hamburgers.
Makes about 2 cups
2 T butter
1 onion, chopped fine
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 C water
¼ t salt
1 T chili powder
4 T brown sugar
4 T vinegar
4 T Worcestershire sauce
1 C catsup
1 t Tabasco
Melt the butter in a saucepan and cook the onion and garlic until soft. Add the water and remaining ingredients. Stir until well mixed. Place over medium heat and simmer for 30 minutes. Cook longer for a thicker sauce.
Use day-old bread for stuffing or let fresh bread dry out slightly in the oven. Don't economize by using old, stale bread: its tired flavor will haunt the stuffing unless the seasoning is very strong. You don't always have to use bread crumbs---try croutons, cracker crumbs, crumbled cornbread, wild rice, white rice, and barley, or
Always taste and correct the seasoning before you use the stuffing. Fry a tablespoonful in a small skillet before tasting it, and bear in mind that the stuffing will absorb additional flavor and moisture as it cooks from the juices of the meat, poultry, or vegetable in which it is encased.
The amount of liquid in stuffing is a matter of personal taste; some people prefer a steaming, porridgy stuffing, while others like the crunch of croutons or dry butter crumbs. Stuffing expands as it cooks: handle it lightly, tossing rather than beating it, and pack it gently to allow plenty of room for expansion.
To store leftovers, remove the stuffing from the cavity, put it in a casserole, and refrigerate. To reheat, place the casserole in a 325°F oven for half an hour, or toss the stuffing in a skillet in a few tablespoons of melted butter.
A pleasant basic stuffing. For a moister stuffing, add ¼ cup chicken broth.
Makes about 3 cups
¼ lb butter
4 T finely chopped onion
4 T finely chopped celery
4 C dry bread crumbs
¼ t freshly ground pepper
Salt to taste
Melt the butter in a skillet and stir n the onion and celery. Cook over low heat until the onion is soft. Add this mixture to the crumbs and toss lightly with plenty of pepper and salt.
Savory Bread Stuffing
Add 1 t sage, crumbled, or 1 t poultry seasoning.
Add ½ C raisins and ½ C walnuts.
Cover the giblets with 1 quart cold water in a saucepan. Bring to a boil and simmer. When the liver is tender, remove it. Continue to cook the gizzard until it is tender, about 45 minutes. Drain the giblets and chop into small bits, and add to the stuffing. Save the liquid for soup.
Add 1 t thyme, crumbled, 1 t basil, crumbled, and ½ t marjoram, crumbled.
Omit the celery and cook 2 cups chopped mushrooms with the onions.
Add ½ t nutmeg.
Add 6 onions, boiled until barely tender, drained, and chopped.
Add 2 C oysters, in bite-size pieces, and use about ¼ cup of oyster
liquor for moistening the crumbs.
Corn Bread Stuffing
Substitute 2 cups cornbread crumbs for 2 cups of the bread crumbs.
For Corn Stuffing, add 1 cup cooked whole-kernel corn.
Makes 3 cups
1 C wild rice
4 T butter
2 C chopped mushrooms
1 small onion, chopped fine
¼ t freshly ground pepper
¼ to ½ t ground nutmeg
Salt to taste
Steam the rice. Melt the butter in a saucepan, add the mushrooms and onion, and cook over low heat until soft. Toss in the rice with the pepper, nutmeg, and salt.
Dry, crisp, with lots of fresh mint flavor; a natural kin to lamb.
Makes 3-½ cups
6 T butter
2 T minced onion
3 T finely chopped celery
½ C finely cut fresh mint leaves
3 C fine dry bread crumbs
Salt to taste
Melt 3 T of the butter in a skillet. Add the onion and celery and cook for 3 minutes. Add the mint leaves and cook until most of the liquid has evaporated. Remove from heat and toss with the remaining 3 T of butter, the crumbs, and salt
Makes 4 cups
3 C croutons
¼ C orange juice
2 t grated orange rind
2/3 C orange sections, with membranes removed
2 C finely chopped celery
5 T butter, melted
Salt to taste
Put the croutons in a bowl and stir in the orange juice. Let stand 15 minutes. Mix in remaining ingredients.
Use 2 T lemon juice and 2 t lemon rind instead of the orange juice and rind. This is particularly nice with chicken, fish, and veal.
Makes 5 cups
2 C braised chestnuts
4 T butter
1 small onion, chopped
1 lb sausage meat
1 t thyme, crumbled
½ t freshly ground pepper
1 T minced parsley
2 C freshly made bread crumbs
Salt to taste
Cut the chestnuts into quarters. Melt the butter in a skillet, add the onion, and cook, stirring often, over medium heat until soft. Scrape into a bowl and mix with the chestnuts. Cook the sausage in the skillet, crumbling it into tiny bits until it is brown. Add the sausage, with some of its fat, to the chestnut mixture with the thyme, pepper, parsley, bread crumbs, and salt.
Makes 8 cups
¼ lb butter, melted
1-½ C finely chopped onions
1-½ C finely chopped celery
8 C bread, dried & broken into small pieces
3 T or more finely chopped sage
½ C finely chopped parsley
1 t salt, or to taste
½ t freshly ground pepper
½ to 1 C turkey or chicken broth
Put 2 T of the butter in a skillet over medium heat. Add the onions and celery and cook, stirring often, until the vegetables are soft but not browned. In a large bowl place the bread, sage, parsley, salt, and pepper. Add the onion mixture and the remaining melted butter and toss well. Slowly add the broth, a little at a time, tossing the mixture. Add only enough broth to moisten; too much will make the
stuffing sodden. To test the stuffing to see if the moisture and
seasonings are correct, melt a little butter in a skillet, add a
rounded tablespoon of the stuffing, and stir until lightly golden.
Taste, and if livelier flavor is needed, add more sage, onion, and/or
About Sandwiches, Pizzas, & Tacos
Hamburgers, hot dogs, and sandwiches make up our great movable feast, the foods that can be eaten with the fingers and on the run: at the desk, in the lunchroom, at ball games, and at picnics. While there is no need to decry the fast-food vendors, it's far better to prepare these foods yourself from the highest-quality ingredients. Since portable foods constitute about 1/3 of the American diet, they should be prepared with great care, and attention should be paid to both their taste and their nutritional quality.
What makes a good sandwich? Good bread, generous filling, contrasting textures, and the mysterious mating of the right filling with the right bread. There was a time when you couldn't get a sandwich in this country on anything but soft white bread: the choice was to have it plain or tasted. Now Americans have not only adopted French, Italian, and Portuguese breads, Greek pitas and Scandinavian flatbreads and ryes, but revived whole-grain breads to the great enrichment of the noonday meal.
What makes a bad sandwich? Dryness, a poor proportion of filling to bread, staleness, incompatible combinations, and wet greens that make everything soggy or untrained tomatoes that sit too long on the bread. Firm, tastily ripe tomatoes are wonderful in sandwiches, adding moisture and goodness.
Unless you must, don't make sandwiches until just before they are to be eaten. When they have to be made in advance for picnics or lunchboxes, wrap each sandwich individually, making an airtight package with plastic wrap or foil. A good idea is to put the lettuce and sliced tomato in a separate plastic bag, to be tucked into the
sandwich just before eating.
And then there is pizza, once Italian, now the quintessential American meal. Far more nutritious than our children imagine, pizza is a worthwhile combination of bread, cheese, and tomatoes. In addition to the familiar garnishes of sausage, anchovy, and mushrooms, pizza can serve as a delicious base for chopped leftover meat and vegetables.
Even people who hate leftovers will eat them spread over a bed of yeasty dough and tomato sauce, covered with a blanket of bubbling mozzarella cheese.
Tacos are fried tortillas, the Mexican pancakes made of a flour ground of cooked corn grain, called masa harina. You can make them yourself if you have either a tortilla press or a lot of expeditious: they are tricky. Luckily, many markets now carry tortillas in the frozen food section and some markets even have them fresh, so it isn't necessary to create your own. Tacos are usually made very crisp. They are
folded in half while they are being fried and are then removed, filled, and served.
A very spiritual, devout and holy priest dies and is immediately swept up to heaven.
St. Peter greets him at the Pearly Gates, and says, "Hello, Father, we've been waiting for you for a long time. Welcome to Heaven! You are very well known here, and as a special reward, because you are such a spiritual and holy man, we're going to
grant you anything you wish even before we enter Heaven. What can I grant you?"
"Well", the priest says, "I've always been a great admirer of the Virgin Mother. I've always wanted to ask her a question." St. Peter waves his hand, and lo and behold who should approach the priest but the Virgin Mary !
The priest is beside himself, but manages to kneel and say, "Mother, I have always been a great admirer of yours, and have studied everything I could about you and followed your holy life as best I could. I have studied every painting and portrait ever made of you holding the Christ Child, and I've noticed that you are always portrayed with a slightly sad look on your face. I have always, always wondered what it was that made you sad. Would you please tell me?"
"Well", says Mother Mary, "to tell the truth, at that time I was really hoping for a girl."
Although for most purposes simply knowing the carb count is enough information for those following a low carb way of eating, there are times when we want to know whether and how much sugar was added to the food during processing. For example, if the label for a bottled sauce says that a teaspoon has "zero carbs", that could easily be due to rounding, so that a few tablespoons may start to have carb levels that you care about. By reading the label, you see whether sugar was added to the sauce, and can sometimes get an idea of how much.
What Are Added Sugars?
Sugars are a type of carbohydrate sometimes called "simple carbohydrates". Sugars occur naturally in many foods, especially fruits, but manufacturers also add sugars to most processed foods these days, because people seem to buy more sweet foods. The presence of these sugars often signals a higher glycemic index in the food.
Sugar Has Many Disguises
Careful reading of labels is necessary to know how much added sugar you are getting. Sometimes there will be small amounts of many types of sugars, so none of them end up being in the the first few ingredients of the label. Other times, sugar masquerades as apparently more "healthy" ingredients, such as honey, rice syrup, or even "organic dehydrated cane juice". These are sugar. Sometimes fruit juice concentrates will be used, which sound wholesome, but usually the juices chosen, such as white grape, apple, and pear juices, are among the least nutritious of the juices. By the time they are "concentrated", very little remains but the sugar.
Here is a list of some of the possible code words for "sugar" which may appear on a label. Hint: the words "syrup", "sweetener", and anything ending in "ose" can usually be assumed to be "sugar". If the label says "no added sugars", it should not contain any of the following, although the food could contain naturally-occurring sugars (such as lactose in milk).
* Corn sweetener
* Corn syrup, or corn syrup solids
* Dehydrated Cane Juice
* Fruit juice concentrate
* High-fructose corn syrup
* Invert sugar
* Malt syrup
* Maple syrup
* Raw sugar
* Rice Syrup
* Sorghum or sorghum syrup
* Turbinado Sugar
Remember, your body doesn't care what the label says, it's all just "sugar"!
1. Place one vanilla bean into a pint of vodka. Shake daily for two weeks.
2. Scrape the seeds from three vanilla beans and place them into a bottle of dark rum. Place the pods in the rum as well. Let sit for three weeks, shaking occasionally.
3. Place 1/2 cup vodka or white tequila into small saucepan, and heat until it smokes but isn't boiling. Break 2 vanilla beans into pieces and place into bottle or jar. Pour the alcohol into the bottle and cover tightly. Let sit for a week, shaking frequently.
To strain and bottle for storage: Use a very fine strainer, coffee filter, or paper towel to strain.
Split 7 vanilla beans end-to-end with a sharp knife. Add these to a .750 liter (1/5) bottle of rum, vodka, everclear, scotch, brandy, or alcohol of your choice.
Let stand for three to four weeks before using.
When bottle is 1/4 full add three to four more beans and more alcohol.
Let stand for another week before using.
Seeds may float in the syrupy liquid but unless yoou are giving the finished product as a gift, don¢t remove them-they only add to the flavor.
Use one-forth to one-third the amount called for in most recipes as this has a very strong vanilla flavor.
The vanilla beans are good as long as they have a vanilla scent.
When they have lost their scent, discard and replace with fresh beans.
You may remove the beans from the alcohol base and either scrape or chop and use them in recipes in place of the extract if you want a strong vanilla flavor.
If you choose to remove the vanilla beans from the alcohol, dry them thoroughly and place them in a canister of sugar to make vanilla sugar.
Traditional Vanilla Recipe
4 Vanilla beans
Seal tight bottle or container
1. Using a sharp kitchen knife, cut a lengthwise slit down the middle of each vanilla bean.
2. Cut vanilla beans into 1/2-3/4 inch pieces.
3. Pour vodka into your container.
4. Add vanilla beans to container and shake.
5. Wait and shake. It will take 30-days for the vanilla extract to mature. Once each day, vigorously shake the container for 30-seconds.
6. Once the 30-day cycle has finished, strain the liquid through a colander or coffee filter and place in decorative bottle.
1 cup Brandy
1 whole vanilla bean
1. Place Brandy into seal-tight container.
2. Add one vanilla bean.
3. Wait. It will take 3-weeks for vanilla to cure properly.
4. Pour into decorator bottle.
Start with 1 cup of vodka, brandy, or real vanilla extract.
Add 2-3 Tablespoons of corn syrup, stir or shake to dissolve.
Finely chop 3 or more (depending on strength of flavor desired) vanilla pods; add to bottle.
Store the bottle in a cool place; stir or shake occasionally to mix ingredients.
As the contents of the brew bottle are poured out, top it up occasionally with additional liquid (vodka, brandy, or extract) and a bit more corn syrup; about once a year add a couple more finely chopped vanilla pods.
Keep vanilla extract in a cool, dark place, with the bottle tightly closed, to prevent evaporation and loss of flavor. Vanilla extract will stay fresh for two years unopened and for one year after being opened.
Vodka usually gives the highest alcohol content. Brandy adds additional flavor which some folks may or may not prefer.
Corn syrup or sugar helps extract and develop the flavor from the vanilla pods (corn syrup dissolves more easily).
Using a variety of vanilla pods (Madagascar, Indonesia, Tahitian, Mexican) will produce a vanilla extract with a much more complex flavor and aroma. Try using Madagascar pods as a base, adding Tahitian and Mexican pods for additional flavor/fragrance notes
Shake vanilla bottle before each use. Small flecks of the
vanilla pods will be in the vanilla extract - they provide additional flavor. They also appear as dark flecks in light-colored food, don¢t shake the bottle if you don¢t want the flecks to appear.
Occasionally spoon out some of the mass of vanilla pods that settle to the bottom of the jar for when you want a very intense vanilla flavor (such as homemade vanilla ice cream or butter/vanilla pretzel cookies).
Have a brew bottle always on the go and every summer make sure it¢s topped up so you'll have enough vanilla extract on hand for holiday baking.
Starter brew bottles make great gifts for friends who bake. Include the basic instructions and a few extra vanilla pods in case they want to make an even stronger extract or wish to make some vanilla sugar on the side.
Sliced Chicken or Turkey
Season at least 3 or 4 slices of the white meat with salt and pepper. Because they're apt to be dry, top the slices with a good tablespoon of mayonnaise, preferably homemade. Pile on buttered white or whole-wheat bread and add 2 or 3 generous sprigs of watercress or a crisp lettuce leaf.
Use 3 thin slices of ham, preferably good baked ham, on buttered rye bread with 1 T of mayonnaise on one side, and 1 t of mustard on the other---mild or Dijon according to preference.
Ham & Cheese
Eliminate the mayonnaise and add a slice or two of Swiss or other mild cheese.
Use beef that is somewhat rare, or else it will be dry. Pile a generous 2 or 3 slices on buttered white or rye bread. Add salt and pepper, a teaspoon of mustard, and a crisp lettuce leaf. Serve with dill pickle.
Hot Roast Beef
Hot roast beef is particularly good on a hard roll, such as Kaiser, onion, or sesame seed, with the juices poured over. Salt and pepper to taste and pass the mustard.
Corned Beef or Tongue
Most aficionados like 4 or 5 generous slices with mustard only on buttered rye bread. Serve with dill pickle.
Place two slices of meat loaf on buttered rye or white bread with 1 T of mayonnaise or catsup or both. Add a leaf of crisp iceberg lettuce and serve with sweet pickles.
This spicy cousin of corned beef must always be served warm, 4 or 5 slices on buttered pumpernickel or rye with a good teaspoon of mustard.
Cold Sliced Pork, Veal, or Lamb
These meats are apt to be a little dry when cold, so serve 3 or 4 slices with a generous tablespoon of mayonnaise, and watercress or crisp lettuce, on well-buttered bread. A relish such as chutney or bread-and-butter pickle can be good on the meat, especially the pork.
Bologna, Liverwurst, or Salami
Place 3 or 4 good slices of bologna, liverwurst, or salami on dark buttered rye or whole-wheat bread, with 1 t prepared horseradish or 2 t peppery mustard, or 2 t mayonnaise. Serve with dill pickle.
Place a row of well-drained sardines on a thin slice of buttered rye bread. Squeeze 1 t of lemon juice on top, sprinkle with ½ t chopped dill, and cover with buttered slice of rye.
1. Exercise your dog well before you leave. A tired dog has less energy with
which to be anxious and destructive. End exercise sessions 20-30 minutes before you go so he has time to settle down.
2. Five minutes before you leave give him a well stuffed Kong to take his mind off your imminent departure. -- we fill ours with small treats and peanut butter.
3. Make your departures and returns completely calm and emotionless. No huggy/Kissy "mummy luvs you" scenes. If he gets excited and jumps all over you when you return, ignore him. Turn your back and walk away. When he finally settles down, say hello and greet him very calmly.
4. Defuse the pieces of your departure routine by also doing them when you are not leaving. Pick up your car keys, and sit down on the sofa to watch TV. Dress in your business suit and then cook dinner. Set your alarm for 5 a.m. on a Saturday, then roll over and go back to sleep.
5. Mix up the pieces of your departure when you are leaving, so his anxiety doesn't build to a fever pitch as he recognizes your departure cues. We are creatures of habit too, so this is hard to do, but can pay off in big dividends. Eat breakfast before you shower instead of after. Pick up your keys and put them in your pocket before you take your dog out for his final potty break. Put your briefcase in the car while you're still in pajamas. Make the morning as unpredictable as possible.
6. Use a "safe" cue such as "I'll be back" only when you know you'll return within the time period your dog can tolerate. As suggested in Patricia McConnell's wonderful booklet on separation anxiety titled "I'll Be Home Soon," this helps your dog relax, knowing he can trust you to return.
7. Explore alternative dog-keeping situations to minimize the occasions when you do have to leave him alone - doggie daycare may be suitable for some dogs, but not for others. You may be able to find a neighbor or relative who is house bound and might appreciate some canine companionship.
8. If you are considering adoption of a second dog, try borrowing a calm, stable, compatible dog from a friend, to see if that helps to relieve your dogs distress.
9. Try using Comfort Zone (DAP) plug ins and sprays in his environment to help ease his anxiety.
10. Remove as many other stressors from your dog's world as possible to help him maintain his equilibrium in your absence. No choke chains, shock collars, physical or harsh verbal punishment, (especially in connection to his anxiety behaviors.)
11. Consider working with a behavior professional to be sure you're on the right path - and to help you explore the possibilities of using anti-anxiety medications to maximize the effectiveness of your modification efforts.
Fixing separation anxiety is hard work. It's all too easy to get frustrated with your dogs destructive behavior. Remember the he's not choosing to do it out of spite or malice - he is panicked about his own survival without you, his pack, there to protect him. It's not fun for him either, he lives in the moment, and the moments that you are gone are long and terrifying. If you make the commitment to modify his behavior and succeed in helping him be brave about being alone, you'll not only save your home from destruction, you will enhance the quality of your dog's life immensely - as well as your own - and perhaps save him from destruction too.
Quick: who is the richest man of all time? Bill Gates? Warren Buffet? Not even close, though there's no denying they're very, very rich. The richest man of all time, when wealth is measured as a percentage of the national economy, was John D. Rockefeller, whose fortunes made Gates' and Buffet's look downright puny.
Keeping score of who's wealthier is like a spectator sport with Forbes magazine as its official referee. Last year, Forbes counted 946 billionaires (there are too many millionaires to count, so they don't bother with that anymore) with combined net worth of $3.5 trillion. That's larger than the GDP of Germany, the third largest economy in the world.
But the richest people ever belong in their own special club. These people (all men) have built fortunes of legendary proportions when calculated at the peak of their wealth. Here is the list of the 10 Richest People of All Time and How They Made Their Fortunes.1. John D. Rockefeller
Peak wealth: $318.3 billion (based on 2007 US dollar). Age at peak wealth: 74
As a young man, John Davison Rockefeller said that his two greatest ambitions were to make $100,000 and live to be 100. He died two months shy of his 98th birthday, but boy did he make good on the first goal.
Rockefeller wasn't born to a rich family. His father, William Avery "Big Bill" Rockefeller was a shiftless man who spent most of his times thinking up schemes to avoid actual work! Nevertheless, thanks to the guidance of his mom Eliza - a homemaker and devout Baptist - John D. grew up to be quite a hardworking man.
Rockefeller started out in business as a wholesale grocer and went on to found Standard Oil, which through shrewd business decisions and some say predatory and illegal practices, grew to be a gargantuan monopoly. At its peak, Standard Oil had about 90% of the market for refined oil (kerosene) in the United States (in the early days of Standard Oil, gasoline wasn't an important component of the oil industry - indeed, gasoline produced by the refineries were dumped in rivers because they were considered useless!)
In 1911, the US Supreme Court declared Standard Oil a monopoly under the Sherman Antitrust Act and ordered it to be broken up into 34 independent companies with different boards of directors. By that time, Rockefeller had long since retired from the company but still held a large percentage of shares. Ironically, the busting up of Standard Oil unlocked share values and his fortunes doubled overnight.
Rockefeller got his first job at 16 as a bookkeeper. In a move that portended his lifelong commitment to philanthropy, he tithed 10% of his income - from his first paycheck on - to charity. As his wealth grew, so did his charitable contributions. When he died in 1937, Rockefeller had given away half of his amassed fortune, and established philanthropic foundations to continue giving after his death.2. Andrew Carnegie
Peak wealth: $298.3 billion. Age at peak wealth: 68
Andrew Carnegie immigrated as a young child to Pittsburgh from Scotland and began working at 13 years old as a bobbin boy in a textile mill. He changed spools of threads for 12 hours a day, 6 days a week for a weekly wage of $2. At 16 years old, Carnegie became a telegraph messenger boy, and soon after was promoted to be a telegraph operator.
Carnegie became a personal assistant to Thomas Scott, superintendent of the Pennsylvania Railroad Company and learned the ins and outs of the railroad business. It was Carnegie who invented a brutally efficient way to clear the tracks after a railway accident: by burning the railroad car!
When he was 20, Carnegie mortgaged his mother's house and made his first gutsy investment of $500 for 10 shares of the Adams Express company - sort of the Fed Ex delivery company of the 1800s - and was handsomely rewarded. He then invested in a company making sleeping cars for the railway. By the time he was 30, Carnegie had expanded his investments to iron works, steamers, railroads, and oil well.
But the real money came from steel. In the late 1880s, Carnegie built his steel empire to become the world's largest manufacturer of steel rails, pig iron, and coke.
In 1901, at the age of 66, Carnegie retired by selling his shares to John Pierpont Morgan for more than $225 million (a large sum today and an astounding amount of money back then) in form of gold-bonds. When the bonds were delivered, a special vault had to be built to physically house them!
Carnegie was big proponent of philanthropy - in a famous 1889 essay "The Gospel of Wealth," he wrote that wealth should be distributed to promote welfare of other people and enrich society. True to his words, Carnegie gave away more than $350 million or almost 90% of his fortune.
Note: At the end of the Spanish American War, the United States bought the Philippines from Spain for $20 million. Carnegie was appalled at what he perceived to be an imperialist move and personally offered $20 million to the Philippines so it could buy its independence from the US (they didn't take him up on his offer).3. Nicholas II of Russia
The last Russian Imperial family
Peak wealth: $253.5 billion. Age at peak wealth: 49
Nicholas II of Russia (born Nikolai Aleksandrovich Romanov) was the last Tsar of Russia. He ruled (badly) from 1894 until he was forced to abdicate in the Russian Revolution of 1917 by the Bolsheviks. His reign was marked with antisemitic pogroms, a crushing defeat by Japan in the Russo-Japanese War, revolutions, internal unrests their bloody suppressions, undue influence by the mystic Rasputin and World War I. A year after he was deposed, Nicholas and his entire family were executed by Lenin's order.
The life of the last tsar of Russia was filled with fascinating myths, legends, and history - and readers interested in it are encouraged to read more about Nicholas II and the Romanovs. Suffice it to say that Nicholas II became the third richest man in history the old fashioned way: he inherited his wealth.
4. William Henry Vanderbilt
Peak wealth: $231.6 billion. Age at peak wealth: 64
William Henry Vanderbilt had a pretty good start in life: he inherited nearly $100 million from his father, the railroad mogul Cornelius "The Commodore" Vanderbilt (if you want to read a rags to riches story, Cornelius' is pretty good - see below).
William Vanderbilt was groomed by his father to be a businessman (at times harshly - the imperious and domineering Cornelius liked to call his eldest son a "blockhead," "blatherskite, " "sucker," and "good for nothing") and William turned out to be quite an able businessman. He expanded the family's railroad empire and thus the family fortune, finally earning his father's respect and friendship.
When William died in 1885, he was the richest man in the world.
5. Osman Ali Khan, Asaf Jah VII
Peak wealth: $210.8 billion. Age at peak wealth: 50
Asaf Jah VII (whose given name was Osman Ali Khan Bahadur) was the last Nizam or ruler of the Princely State of Hyderabad and Berar, before it was invaded and annexed by India in 1948.
By most accounts, "His Exalted Highness" the Nizam of Hyderabad was a benevolent ruler who promoted education, science and development. He spent about one-tenth of his Principality' s budget on education, and even made primary education compulsory and free for the poor. In his 37-year rule, Hyderabad witnessed the introduction of electricity, railways, roads, and other development projects.
In 1937, Asaf Jah VII was on the cover of Time Magazine, labeled as the richest man in the world.
6. Andrew W. Mellon
Peak wealth: $188.8 billion. Age at peak wealth: 80
Andrew William Mellon was the son of a Pittsburgh banker Thomas Mellon (who founded the Mellon Bank). Andrew got his start early: he started a lumber company at the age of 17 and by the age of 27 had taken over his father's bank. He also got into oil, steel, shipbuilding, and construction business.
In 1921, President Warren G. Harding appointed the financier Mellon as the Secretary of the Treasury, where he served for 10 years (under three U.S.. Presidents). At that post, Mellon increased federal revenue by decreasing the taxation rate and cutting federal spending.
7. Henry Ford
Peak wealth: $188.1 billion. Age at peak wealth: 57
If Henry Ford's father had his way, Henry would take over the family farm and become a farmer. But after the death of his beloved mother, Henry, who didn't particularly like farming, left home in 1879 at the age of 16 to work as an apprentice machinist.
At 28, Henry Ford became an engineer at Thomas Edison's company and started experimenting with gasoline engines (with Edison's approval). In 1896, at the age of 36, Ford started his first car company, the Detroit Automobile Company, which went bankrupt two years later.
Soon afterwards, he set up his second company, the Henry Ford Company. A year later, his partners hired Henry M. Leland to troubleshoot problems on the shop floor. Ford clashed almost immediately with Leland, and was forced out of the company bearing his name with only $900 cash. The Henry Ford Company was renamed Cadillac, and Ford went on to form his third car company, the "Ford Malcomson" company ...
.... and immediately got into trouble when he couldn't pay his suppliers, the Dodge brothers. Ford's partner, Alexander Malcomson was able to convince the Dodge brothers to invest in the company instead and the company was reincorporated as the Ford Motor Company. And a good thing they did because third time was the charm. The Ford Motor Company made Henry Ford a very rich man.
Henry Ford's name became synonymous with automobiles for good reasons: he introduced the Model T, the first inexpensive car for the masses. He also popularized the use of assembly lines in mass productions, high workers' wages to attract talent and discourage employee turnover, franchise model car dealerships, and even the 5-day workweek.
One interesting note about Henry Ford: he didn't believe in accountants. On one occasion, his son Edsel contracted the building of a new office building with much needed space for the Accounting division. When Henry asked what the space was for, Edsel acknowledged that it was for the accounting department. The very next day, when the accountants showed up for work, they found their office had been stripped - no desks, chairs, or telephones; even the carpeting was gone - and that Henry had fired them all. (Source: Edsel.com)
8. Marcus Licinius Crassus
Peak wealth: $169.8 billion. Age at peak wealth: 62
Marcus Licinius Crassus (ca. 115 BC to 53 BC) is the earliest historical figure in this list. He was a Roman general and politician who defeated the slave revolt led by Spartacus.
If you think the rest of the businessmen on this list were ruthless - in reality they've got nothing on Crassus. The Roman general became wealthy when he bought the homes and belongings from the victims of Sulla's sacking of Rome (Crassus was one of Sulla's generals) for cheap. He then re-sold them at a princely profit. Crassus then expanded his wealth through the slave trade, silver mining, and real estate, especially by buying houses of those declared enemies of the state for next to nothing.
But it was Crassus' acquisition of burning houses that earned him his lasting notoriety. He maintained a troop of 500 skilled builders - and when a fire broke out in Rome (back then a frequent occurrence), he negotiated the sale of the burning properties and those nearby for cheap. Once he obtained the properties, he called upon his men to demolish the burning property and save the nearby buildings (that was the preferred technique of fighting fire during Roman times). He then rebuilt and leased back the property to the original owners! At one point, Crassus owned a large part of Rome and some wondered whether the fires might not have actually been his doing ...
Crassus was so greedy that when he died, his enemies had his head severed and molten gold poured into his mouth as a mark of his greed .
9. Basil II
Peak wealth: $169.4 billion. Age at peak wealth: 67
Basil II (or Basil the Bulgarslayer) was a Byzantine emperor from the Macedonian dynasty who reigned from 976 to 1025. For historians, Basil II's reign represented the apex of the Middle Byzantine Empire - he expanded the territory of the empire by annexing Bulgaria, making it the largest and strongest it had ever been in nearly five centuries.
Basil had no heir, and within half a century of his death, the Byzantine Empire crumbled.
10. Cornelius Vanderbilt
Peak wealth: $167.4 billion. Age at peak wealth: 82
Cornelius Vanderbilt is a true rags-to-riches story: he quit school at the age of 11 (famously saying "If I had learned education, I would not have had time to learn anything else") to work on ferries in New York. By 16, persuaded his mom to loan him $100 for a boat to start his own ferry business carrying freight and passengers between Staten Island and Manhattan. He repaid the loan with an additional $1000 one year later. It's from this business operating ships that he got his nickname "Commodore" that stuck for the rest of his life, even after he started getting into the railroad business.
Vanderbilt was ruthless in business. He once wrote a short (and now famous) letter to Charles Morgan and C.K. Garrison of the Morgan Garrison company. The two men manipulated his steamship company's stock in his absence and took it over. The letter read "Gentlemen: you have undertaken to cheat me. I won't sue you, for the law is too slow. I'll ruin you. Yours truly, Cornelius Vanderbilt." True to his words, two years later Vanderbilt forced them out of business by running a competing business.
Despite of their wealth - or perhaps because of it, the Vanderbilt family wasn't a happy one. The Commodore was constantly thinking of his will, which he called "that paper." He wanted the money to remain intact, and thus it must be handed down to a single heir. Indeed, he disowned all of his sons other than William (see above), believing that only William was ruthless enough in business to be capable of maintaining his empire.
This is also known as a Western Omelet Sandwich. Part of the delight is having the egg soak into the soft bread.
Makes 2 sandwiches
3 T butter
1/3 C finely chopped onion
1/3 C finely chopped green pepper
2 slices ham, chopped
3 eggs, slightly beaten
Salt to taste
Cayenne pepper to taste
4 slices buttered bread
Melt the butter in a skillet. Add the onion, green pepper, and ham, and cook until the onion is soft. Pour the beaten eggs over the ham and vegetables, and add salt and cayenne pepper. Cook over low heat until lightly golden. Turn over with a spatula and quickly brown only the other side (the center should remain moist). Divide the omelet in half and place each half on a piece of buttered bread. Spread with mustard and close with the other slice of bread. Serve warm.
Makes 1 Sandwich
2 slices corned beef
1 slice Swiss cheese
2 slices dark rye or pumpernickel bread
4 T sauerkraut
1-½ T Russian Dressing (post later)
3 T butter
Put 1 slice corned beef and 1 slice Swiss cheese on a piece of bread. Heap on sauerkraut and spread the dressing over it. Put on the second slice of corned beef and second slice of bread. Melt the butter in a skillet over medium-low heat. Put in the sandwich and grill on each side until the cheese melts, or grill in a sandwich toaster. Serve warm.
Summer's here! Time to break out the t-shirts! Just for fun, wear one with a phrase like one of these and see how many laughs you get from passers-by:
1. I went t-shirt shopping and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.
2. Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it!
3. Beer: It's not just for breakfast anymore!
4. Remember my name. You'll be screaming it later.
5. Of course I don't look busy. I did it right the first time!
6. I don't believe in miracles, I rely on them.
7. I'm not easy, but we can discuss it.
8. Next mood swing only minutes away.
9. I was schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
10. What would Scooby do?
11. Free Tibet* (*With Purchase of another Tibet of equal or greater value.)
12. Anybody seen my mind? I know it's around here somewhere...
13. Mile High Club Local Branch President.
14. They say I have A.D.D. but they just don't under... Hey look! A squirrel!
15. I got a fever and the prescription is More Cowbell!
16. Read the shirt, buy the next round. (I don't make the rules, I just wear the shirt.)
17. Say No to Drugs. It Keeps the Prices Down.
18. Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires, which is good because I've got stuff to do.
19. You mess with me, you mess with the whole trailer park!
20. Relish Today... Ketchup Tomorrow.
Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she'll become a hooker.
She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him a hundred bucks. If you got a question, I'll be parked around the corner."
She's not there 5 minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, "How much?"
She says, "A hundred dollars."
He says, "All I got is thirty".
She says, "Hold on," and runs back to Harry and asks, "What can he get for thirty?"
"A hand job".
She runs back and tells the guy all the gets for thirty is a hand job.
She gets in the car.
He unzips his pants, and out pops this HUGE penis. She stares at it for a minute, and then says, "I'll be right back."
She runs back to Harry, and asks, "Can you loan this guy seventy bucks?"
Round Cake Pans
8 x 1-1/2 in = 50 sq inches
9 x 1-1/2 in = 64 sq inches
8 x 2 inches = 50 sq inches
10 x 2 inches = 79 sq inches
12 x 2 inches = 113 sq inches
Square Cake Pans
6 x 3 x 2-1/4" = 18 sq inches
8 x 8 x 1-1/2" = 64 sq inches
8-1/2 x 4-1/2 x 2-1/2 inches = 38 sq inches
9 x 5 x 2-3/4 inches = 45 sq inches
9 x 9 x 1-1/2 inches = 81 sq inches
9 x 13 x 2 inches = 117 sq inches
10 x 15 x 2 inches = 150 sq inches
10-1/2 x 15-1/2 x 1 inch = 163 sq inches
11 x 4-1/2 x 2-3/4 inches = 50 square inches
11 x 7 x 1-1/2 inches = 77 square inches
11 x 18 x 1 inches = 198 square inches
10 x 4 inch tube pan = 12 cup bundt pan = two 9x5-1/4 inch pans
Calzone is much like a pizza, except that it is made like a turnover, with the filling enclosed. This is a simple version, but you can add almost anything to this basic mixture, such as chopped prosciutto or ham or crumbled cooked sausage.
Makes 1 calzone
4 oz. cream cheese
4 oz. mozzarella, grated
¼ C chopped scallions
2 T chopped parsley
2 cloves garlic, minced
¼ t dry thyme, or ½ t fresh
¼ t dry marjoram, or ½ t fresh
½ t salt, or to taste
Freshly ground pepper to taste
14-inch disk of rolled-out, uncooked pizza dough
Preheat the oven to 500°F. Put the cream cheese and mozzarella in a boll and mix until blended. Stir in the scallions, parsley, garlic, thyme, marjoram, salt, and pepper. Place the prepared pizza dough on a pizza pan or cookie sheet. Put the filling on one half of the dough, leaving a 1-inch margin at the edge. Moisten the edge with water. Fold the dough over the filling to meet the edges. Seal the
edges by rolling up ½ inch of dough and crimping it to form a tight seal. Bake for about 15-18 minutes, until it is brown on both the top and bottom. Remove from the oven and brush the top with olive oil. Serve it whole.
A taco is a tortilla fried crisp, then folded with the sauce and filling tucked inside. Crisp tacos may be filled with many different things, such as cold cooked meats or poultry or vegetables. This is a general outline of a typical taco filling. The sauce will keep for a few days, but it is at its best if used as soon after making as possible, since the cilantro tends to fade quickly. If you can't find
cilantro, try flat-leaved Italian parsley. Add more fresh cilantro if possible just before using.
Makes filling for 8 tacos
1 C shredded or chopped cooked meat or poultry
8 fried tacos
1-¼ C shredded iceberg lettuce
½ C finely chopped onion
1 C chopped tomato
Taco Sauce (will post later), or approximately 2 C sour cream
1 C grated Cheddar or Monterey Jack cheese
To Make Fried Tacos
In a skillet, heat 1/3 inch of oil, preferably peanut oil, to 360°F. Then slip a tortilla into the hot fat. After just one second, take a spatula and fold the tortilla in half. Insert the spatula between the folds and press down and fry for about 30 seconds to 1 minute until golden, then turn it over and repeat. Drain on paper towels, standing it curved side down like a rocking horse so the oil will drip off. Keep warm while you fry others. Spread the meat or poultry across the
bottom of the taco. Add the lettuce, and sprinkle with the onion, and tomato. Spoon the sauce or sour cream on top, and evenly sprinkle with cheese. Serve.
Fills 10 to 12 Tacos
3 T vegetable
1 onion, chopped fine
2 Cloves garlic, chopped fine
2 t chili powder
1 lb. lean ground beef, or 2 C chopped leftover beef
Salt to taste
Heat the oil in a large skillet, add the onion, and stir often until
the onion is soft. Add the garlic and cook, stirring for 2 minutes;
add the chili powder, beef, and salt. Mix and cook, stirring,
breaking the meat into tiny bits, until the meat loses its pinkness.
If using leftover beef, simply heat through. With a slotted spoon,
leaving the fat behind in the skillet, remove the meat mixture to a
bowl. Use about 2 T per taco or enchilada when filling.
In the last decade Americans have become more and more health-conscious, and fiber is the latest cure-all. Cereals, rice, beans, and pasta: there are whole-some foods that fill the stomach and warm the heart, that provide energy for a snowy
morning and restore courage at the end of a long day. Basic foods for the world's poorer nations, they often replace meat on the American table as well, for, in the right combinations, they provide a valuable source of low-fat protein.
Grains are the dried seeds of grass plants; those that are used for food are called cereals. About one-quarter of our diet is made up of grains such as wheat, rice, corn, oats, barley, and rye.
All cereals contain a high percentage of carbohydrate, with varying amounts of protein, minerals, and vitamins. Although they don't provide complete protein by themselves, they become highly valuable foods when they are mixed with milk products, eggs, dried beans, or animal proteins. In many parts of the world where meat is scarce, people live largely on grains.
A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog.
The man replies, "Come on, a dog?"
The owner says, "How about a cat?"
The man replies, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!"
The shop owner thinks for a minute, then says, "I've got it! A centipede!"
The man says, "A centipede? I can't imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay. I'll try a centipede."
He gets the centipede home and says to the centipede, "Clean the kitchen."
Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and it's immaculate! All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried, and put away; the counter tops cleaned; the appliances sparkling; the floor waxed. He's absolutely amazed.
He says to the centipede, "Go clean the living room."
Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed; the furniture cleaned and dusted; the pillows on the sofa plumped; and the plants watered.
The man thinks to himself, "This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. This really is a pet that can do everything!"
Next he says to the centipede, "Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper."
The centipede walks out the door. Ten minutes later, no centipede. Twenty minutes later, no centipede. Thirty minutes later, no centipede.
By this point, the man is wondering what's going on. So he goes to the front door, opens it, and there's the centipede sitting right outside. The man says, "Hey! I sent you down to the corner store 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What's the matter?!"
The centipede says, "I'm going! I'm going! I'm just putting on my shoes!"
A guy meets a childhood pal. "What are you doing for yourself these days?"
"I'm a fireman," his old friend replies.
"Yeah? My 15-year-old kid wants to be a fireman," says the guy.
"Well," says his friend, "if you want some good advice, you've got to install a pole in your house that will go to the basement so your kid can practice, because the hardest thing for a fireman is to jump off into space and catch that pole in the middle of the night."
Ten years later, the two guys happen to meet again.
"Well, did your son become a fireman?"
"No," moans the guy, "but my daughter is a stripper."
Two nuns were shopping in a food store and happened to be passing the beer and liquor section. One asks the other if she would like a beer.
The other nun answered that would be good, but that she would feel uncomfortable about purchasing it.
The first nun said that she would handle it and picked up a six pack and took it to the cashier. The cashier had a surprised look and the first nun said, "The beer is used for washing our hair."
The cashier without blinking an eye, reached under the counter and put a package of pretzels in the bag with the beer saying, "Here, don't forget the curlers."
Mrs. Siegal went into Bergdorf-Goodman's, called over a salesman, pointed to white wool designer dress on a mannequin, and said, "Hey Sonny boy, so how much is the dress on that store dummy over there?"
"That dress is $899.95, Madam," sneered the rather snooty salesman.
"Oy! For $99.95 I could get the same dress at Klein's downtown!"
"But Madam," said the salesman, "You'll find that the dress at Klein's is recycled wool. This original is 100% pure virgin wool."
"So for $800 I should be caring what the sheep do at night?"
I've got 3 TVs, cable and a satellite dish. I have 3 phone lines in the house, a cell phone and a Blackberry. I use two computers, 3 ISPs and a fax. I subscribe to two daily papers and one weekly one. I watch both the local and network news every evening.
And my kids have the nerve to tell me I'm out of touch.
Because they needed some help around the house, the minister's wife placed an ad for a manservant.
Around 8 a.m. the next morming a nicely dressed young man appears at their front door. "Can you fix breakfast by 7 am every day?" the minister asks the young man.
"Well...... I guess I can," came the bewildered reply.
"And can you make the beds, dust the living room, do the dishes, cut the grass, and polish the silver also," the minister continued.
"Gee, sir, I just came by to see about getting married. But if it's going to be that much work, you can count me out right now!"
A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree and with a deep sigh, started to climb. About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end. He turned and spread all four flippers and launched himself off the branch. On landing at the bottom in a pile of soft, dead leaves, he shook himself off, walked back to the bottom of the tree and with a sigh started to climb.
About an hour later, he again reached the very high branch, walked along, turned, spread his flippers and flung himself off the branch. Again, he landed on the bottom, shook himself off, went to the bottom of the tree, sighed and started climbing.
Watching these proceedings from the end of the branch were two little birds. Mummy bird turned to Daddy bird and said, "Don't you think it's time we told him he was adopted?"
A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim were having a discussion about who was the most religious.
"I was riding my camel in the middle of the Sahara ," exclaimed the Muslim. Suddenly a fierce sandstorm appeared from nowhere. I truly thought my end had come as I lay next to my camel while we were being buried deeper and deeper under the sand. But I did not lose my faith in the Almighty Allah, I prayed and prayed and suddenly, for a hundred meters all around me, the storm had stopped. Since that day I am a devout Muslim and am now learning to recite the Koran by memory."
"One day while fishing," started the Christian," I was in my little dinghy in the middle of the ocean. Suddenly a fierce storm appeared from nowhere. I truly thought my end had come as my little dinghy was tossed up and down in the rough ocean. But I did not lose my faith in Jesus Christ, I prayed and prayed and suddenly, for 300 meters all around me, the storm had stopped. Since that day I am a devout Christian and am now teaching young children about Him."
"One day I was walking down the road," explained the Jew," I was in my most expensive designer outfit in the middle of New York City . Suddenly I saw a black bag on the ground in front of me appear from nowhere. I put my hand inside and found a million dollars in cash. I truly thought my end had come as it was a Saturday and we are not allowed to handle money on Saturdays. But I did not lose my faith in Jehovah, I prayed and prayed and suddenly, for 500 feet all around me, it was Tuesday!"
The only native American grain, corn was used by the Indians before Columbus and was introduced to Europe by the early explorers of this continent. Cornmeal is made of ground corn kernels. Water-ground meal retains the vitamin-rich germ, while commercially ground meal is made from only the starchy part of the kernel. As with all ground kernels, the texture of the meal can range from coarse to fine, depending on the dish being prepared. A coarse grind is ideal for Italian polenta, while finer grinds are usually used for American southern favorites such as spoon bread, muffins, and mush, although some prefer a coarser texture in these dishes as well. Cornmeal
dishes are traditionally cooked in heavy iron pans to encourage the formation of a thick, dark crust. Both yellow and white cornmeal are available. The difference is really only in the color, but there are strong partisans of each kind in different regions of the country.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Angel Falls, Venezuela (also called Salto Angel) is the Earth's highest uninterrupted waterfall. It is 979 metres (3,230 feet) tall - think of it as 2.5 times as tall as the Empire State Building and full 15 times higher than Niagara Falls!
Located in the Canaima National Park, in southeastern Venezuela, the falls start from the nameless creek that meanders through the series of highly-fractured crevices and gorges on top of a "Tepuy", or table-top mountain. The water then bursts into the void and plunges uninterrupted 2,421 feet to the river and more cascades below.
In a season of highest water, the single waterfall splits into three streams - sometimes even more, which together become a giant veil of water.
How to get to the Angel Falls? Not so easy. You would need to hook up with a flight from Caracas or Ciudad Bolivar to get to the Canaima camp, from where you'd start your trip along the river to the base of the falls.
Quite a perfect sandwich, particularly made of newly baked bread freshly toasted with ample slices of breast of chicken and thin slices of tomatoes. (The faint of heart can use only two slices of bread---but then it hardly qualifies as a genuine lofty club sandwich.)
Makes 1 sandwich
2 T mayonnaise
3 slices fresh bread, toasted crisp
4 thin slices cooked chicken breast
Freshly ground pepper
3 thin slices ripe, firm tomato
3 slices bacon, fried crisp and drained
Spread butter and mayonnaise on one side of each slice of toast, cover with chicken, sprinkle with salt and pepper, and cover with a slice of toast. Place the tomatoes and bacon on it, and season with salt and pepper. Cover with the last slice of toast. Cut in quarters, diagonally, and serve with olives and pickles.
A perennial favorite: soft melted cheese and pressed, buttery toast.
Makes 1 sandwich
2 slices Cheddar, American or Swiss cheese
2 slices white bread
2 T butter
Put the cheese between the slices of bread. Heat 1 T of the butter in a skillet or grill and when it is melted add the sandwich. Gently press down with a spatula once or twice during the grilling. When one side is golden, add the remaining tablespoon of butter, turn the sandwich over, and brown.
Grilled Cheese w/ Bacon
Fry 3 slices bacon until cooked but not crisp. Pat dry of excess fat, add on top of the cheese, and grill as directed.
Grilled Cheese w/Ham
Put 2 thin slices of ham on the cheese and grill as directed. Serve with sweet pickle.
Follow the recipe for Grilled cheese Sandwich, but lightly coat 1 slice of bread with Dijon mustard. Sauté 3-4 slices onion in butter and put on top of the cheese. Cover and grill.
Follow the recipe for Grilled Cheese Sandwich, but add 2 thin slices tomato to the sandwich before grilling.
Depending on where you live, you may call it a hero, hoagie, submarine, or grinder. Make it in individual 6-inch rolls as below, in loaves of French bread cut in 4-inch wedges, or heroically, for a party in a special 2-foot long loaf----increasing amounts of filling proportionately.
Makes 1 sandwich
6-inch French roll
4 T butter
¼ C mayonnaise
2-½ T prepared mustard
4 slices cheese: Cheddar, Swiss, Fontina, or others
4 slices salami, bologna, mortadella, ham, or other cooked meat
Split the roll lengthwise. Butter each half and spread with mayonnaise and mustard. Place the cheese and meat, overlapping, along the length. Add any of the remaining ingredients you like: the more, the better. If you want to serve it warm, omit the lettuce and tomato, wrap snugly in foil, and cook in a 350°F oven for 30 minutes.
Mexican Hero Sandwich
Add 2-½ T chopped, canned green chili to 6 oz softened butter. Omit the mustard and mayonnaise. Spread chili butter on the loaf, and use salami and Monterey Jack cheese. Wrap in foil and heat in a 350°F oven for 30 minutes.
Italian Hero Sandwich
Omit the mustard. Use sliced prosciutto ham and Genoa salami and Fontina, Romano, or Parmesan cheese. Top with onion and green pepper slices and olive relish. Serve cold.
The Eiffel Tower is an iron tower built on the Champ de Mars beside the River Seine in Paris. The tower has become a global icon of France and is one of the most recognizable structures in the world. The Parisian landmark is the tallest structure in Paris and one of the most recognized structures in the world and is named after its designer, engineer Gustave Eiffel.
The structure was built between 1887 and 1889 as the entrance arch for the Exposition Universelle, a World's Fair marking the centennial celebration of the French Revolution. The structure of the Eiffel Tower weighs 7,300 tons. Depending on the ambient temperature the top of the tower may shift away from the sun by up to 18 cm (7 in) due to thermal expansion of the metal on the side facing the sun. The tower also sways 6-7 cm (2-3 in) in the wind.
The tower was inaugurated on 31 March 1889, and opened on 6 May. Three hundred workers joined together 18,038 pieces of puddled iron (a very pure form of structural iron), using two and a half million rivets, in a structural design by Maurice Koechlin. The risk of accident was great, for unlike modern skyscrapers the tower is an open frame without any intermediate floors except the two platforms.
Yet because Eiffel took safety precautions including use of movable stagings, guard-rails and screens, only one man died.
At the time the tower was built many people were shocked by its daring shape. Gustave Eiffel was criticised for the design and accused of trying to create something artistic, or inartistic according to the viewer, without regard to engineering. Eiffel and his engineers, as renowned bridge builders however, understood the importance of wind forces and knew that if they were going to build the tallest structure in the world they had to be certain it would withstand the wind.
Since the beginning of the 20th century, the tower has been used for radio transmission. Until the 1950s, an occasionally modified set of antenna wires ran from the summit to anchors on the Avenue de Suffren and Champ de Mars. They were connected to long-wave transmitters in small bunkers; in 1909, a permanent underground radio centre was built near the south pillar and still exists today. On 20 November 1913 the Paris Observatory, using the Eiffel Tower as an antenna, exchanged sustained wireless signals with the United States Naval Observatory
which used an antenna in Arlington, Virginia.
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss' car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
(e) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach...and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
11: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
12: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
13: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
14: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
15: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
This is so true! They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.
An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.....
The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?"
"There's something wrong with my dick", he replied.
The Receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.
The Receptionist replied; "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private."
The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, " Yes??"
"There's something wrong with my ear", he stated.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir??"
"I can't piss out of it," he replied.
The waiting room erupted in laughter.
Mess with seniors and you're gonna lose!
A Michigan woman and her family were vacationing in a small New England town where Paul Newman and his family often visited. One Sunday morning the woman got up early to take a long walk.
After a brisk five-mile hike, she decided to treat herself to a double-dip chocolate ice cream cone. She hopped in the car, drove to the center of the village and went straight to the combination bakery/ice cream parlor. There was only one other patron in the store.
Paul Newman, sitting at the counter having a doughnut and coffee.
The woman's heart skipped a beat as her eyes made contact with those famous baby-blue eyes.
The actor nodded graciously and the star-struck woman smiled demurely.
"Pull yourself together!", she chides herself. You're a happily married woman with three children. You're forty-five-years old, not a teenager!
The clerk filled her order and she took the double-dip chocolate ice cream cone in one hand and her change in the other. Then when she went out the door, avoiding even a glance in Paul Newman's direction.
When she reached her car, she realized that she had a handful of change - but her other hand was empty. Where's my ice cream cone? Did I leave it in the store?
Back into the shop she went, expecting to see the cone still in the clerk's hand or in a holder on the counter or something. But no ice cream cone was in sight. With that, she happened to look over at Paul Newman.
His face broke into his familiar warm, friendly grin and he said to the woman, "You put it in your purse."
Three explorers were in the deepest darkest jungles of Africa and were captured by a pigmy tribe. The tribe brings them before the chief, who declares that the explorers were tracking across secret hunting grounds, and the penalty was death.
One explorer asks the chief if they are to die. Could they chose the way they wanted to go.
After much consideration, the chief agreed.
The first explorer loved to eat and wanted to eat himself to death.
The tribe puts him in a hut with 10,000 lbs of food and two guards outside the door to make sure he doesn't escape.
The second explorer loved to drink and wanted to drink himself to death.
Again, the tribe puts him in a hut with 10,000 gals of booze, and two guards outside the door to make sure he doesn't escape.
The third explorer loved to screw women.
This took a little time, as the tribe had to construct a large hut and collect 10,000 naked women. They finally got it all together and placed the explorer in the hut with 10,000 naked women and two guards outside the hut to make sure he didn't escape.
Time rolled by, and about 3 months later the chief remembered that he had to see how the punishment of the three explorers turned out.
He went to the first hut, and found the man had ate so much, he exploded. He had the two guards clean up the mess and dismissed them.
In the second hut, the explorer drank so much he puked his guts out. The chief had the two guards clean up the mess, and dismissed them.
You'd never guess what the chief found in the third hut... 10,000 pregnant women, two guards outside the door with red asses and the explorer jacking off in the corner!
1 3/4 pounds green beans, trimmed
1/4 cup tarragon flavored vinegar
1 small onion, quartered
2 tbs Dijon mustard
3/4 tsp salt
1/8 tsp black pepper
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 large sweet peppers, cored, seeded and cut into 1/4 inch wide strips
1/2 large jicama, peeled and cut into 2 X 1/4 inch strips
Bring pot of water to boiling, Add beans, cook until tender. Drain, rinse under cold water, drain. In food processor, combine vinegar, onion, mustard, salt and pepper. Process until onion is finely chopped.
With processor running, slowly add oil until dressing is thick and well blended. In bowl, toss beans, peppers and jicama with dressing to coat. Serve cold or at room temp.
MAKES 10 SERVINGS
- A man will pay $2.00 for a $1.00 item he needs.
- A woman will pay $1.00 for a $2.00 item
that she does not need.
- A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
- A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
- A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- To be happy with a man, you must love him a little and understand him a lot.
- To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
- Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
- Women somehow deteriorate overnight.
- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
- A man marries a woman expecting she won't change, but she does.
- Married men live longer than single men, but married men are more willing to die.
- Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
- A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument
1. Chewing on gum while cutting onions can help a person from stop producing tears. Try it next time you chop onions!!!!!!!!!!
2. Until babies are six months old, they can breathe and swallow at the same time. Indeed convenient!
3. Offered a new pen to write with, 97% of all people will write their own name.
4. Male mosquitoes are vegetarians. Only females bite.
5. The average person's field of vision encompasses a 200-degree wide angle.
6. To find out if a watermelon is ripe, knock it, and if it sounds hollow then it is ripe.
7. Canadians can send letters with personalized postage stamps showing their own photos on each stamp.
8. Babies' eyes do not produce tears until the baby is approximately six to eight weeks old.
9. It snowed in the Sahara Desert in February of 1979.
10. Plants watered with warm water grow larger and more quickly than plants watered with cold water.
11. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
12. Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave.
13. Those stars and colours you see when you rub your eyes are called phosphenes.
14. Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
15. Everyone's tongue print is different, like fingerprints.
16. Contrary to popular belief, a swallowed chewing gum doesn't stay in the gut. It will pass through the system and be excreted.
17. At 40 Centigrade a person loses about 14. 4 calories per hour by breathing.
18. There is a hotel in Sweden built entirely out of ice; it is rebuilt every year.
19. Cats, camels and giraffes are the only animals in the world that walk rightfoot, right foot, left foot, left foot, rather than right foot, left foot...
20. Onions help reduce cholesterol if eaten after a fatty meal.
21. The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.
22. In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is 10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch and make it look=20 like it's smiling.
23. The color blue can have a calming affect on people.
24. Depending upon the shade, the brain may send up to 11 tranquilizing chemicals to calm the body
25. Leonardo da Vinci could write with the one hand and draw with the other simultaneously. Now we know why his pictures were exquisite!!
26. Names of the three wise monkeys are: Mizaru (See no evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru (Speak no evil).
27. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it's head are the rabbit and parrot.
28. The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.
29. Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age
30. The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which they start.
31. Electricity doesn't move through a wire but through a field around the wire.
32. All U.S. Presidents have worn glasses; some of them just didn't like to be seen wearing them in public.
33. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, and purple.