MURPHY'S MILITARY LAWS. . . . . .

* The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

* The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.

* The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

* If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.

* The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

* The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

* Never worry about the bullet with your name on it. Instead, worry about shrapnel addressed to 'occupant'.

* All battles are fought uphill and in the rain.

* Tracers works both ways.

* If the enemy is in range, so are you.

* War is like love. To triumph, you must make contact.

* It isn't necessary to be an idiot to be a senior officer, but it sure helps.

* Your equipment was made by the lowest bidder.