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Saturday, July 19, 2008

Short jokes

Two nuns were shopping in a food store and happened to be passing the beer and liquor section. One asks the other if she would like a beer.

The other nun answered that would be good, but that she would feel uncomfortable about purchasing it.

The first nun said that she would handle it and picked up a six pack and took it to the cashier. The cashier had a surprised look and the first nun said, "The beer is used for washing our hair."

The cashier without blinking an eye, reached under the counter and put a package of pretzels in the bag with the beer saying, "Here, don't forget the curlers."


Mrs. Siegal went into Bergdorf-Goodman's, called over a salesman, pointed to white wool designer dress on a mannequin, and said, "Hey Sonny boy, so how much is the dress on that store dummy over there?"

"That dress is $899.95, Madam," sneered the rather snooty salesman.

"Oy! For $99.95 I could get the same dress at Klein's downtown!"

"But Madam," said the salesman, "You'll find that the dress at Klein's is recycled wool. This original is 100% pure virgin wool."

"So for $800 I should be caring what the sheep do at night?"


I've got 3 TVs, cable and a satellite dish. I have 3 phone lines in the house, a cell phone and a Blackberry. I use two computers, 3 ISPs and a fax. I subscribe to two daily papers and one weekly one. I watch both the local and network news every evening.

And my kids have the nerve to tell me I'm out of touch.


Because they needed some help around the house, the minister's wife placed an ad for a manservant.

Around 8 a.m. the next morming a nicely dressed young man appears at their front door. "Can you fix breakfast by 7 am every day?" the minister asks the young man.

"Well...... I guess I can," came the bewildered reply.

"And can you make the beds, dust the living room, do the dishes, cut the grass, and polish the silver also," the minister continued.

"Gee, sir, I just came by to see about getting married. But if it's going to be that much work, you can count me out right now!"

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