Three Tasks

A man walks into a hotel bar, claims a table and walks up to the bartender to order a beer. He notices a jar of money behind the counter. He asks the bartender what the jar is all about.

"We have a little contest going on here," the bartender replies. "Want to play?"

"OK, how?" asks the man.

The bartender explains, "Well, first you put some money in the jar and then you have to complete three tasks. You finish all three and the money in the jar is yours."

"What are the three tasks?" the man asks.

"Well," replies the bartender holding up a little bottle, "First you have to drink this bottle of hot sauce. It's from Africa, and it's hotter than anything you've ever tasted."

"OK," replies the man.

The bartender continues, "Then there's a dog out back. Mean, nasty old thing. She has a bad tooth, and it's causing her a lot of pain. You have to pull it out."

The man thinks for a moment.

"Finally," the bartender says, "there's an old woman in the back of the bar. See her?" He points to a large woman sitting in the corner who is smiling and waving. "She hasn't been with a man in over 30 years. You have to sleep with her."

"Let me think about it," the man says. He goes back to his table and finishes his beer. Then he has a few more. Then a few more. Eventually, he gets up the courage to do the three tasks. He staggers back to the bartender, shoves a bill into the jar and and exclaims, "I'll do it! Let me see that sauce!"

The bartender hands him the sauce. He swills it down, howls loudly and runs for the drinking fountain.

"OK, the dog?" he says.

"Out back," the bartender says.

The man goes out back. For several minutes, yelping and scratching noises are heard. They eventually die down.

"Alright," the man says loudly as he staggers back into the bar. "Where's that lady who needs her tooth pulled?"