Marriage jokes

1] Sweeter Sides of Life

Boy Friend is like a chocolate, "Taste good always."
Girl Friend is like Pizza, Hot� n�Spicy, "Delicious anytime."
Wife is like the refrigerated left overs, "Eaten when no choice."
Husband is like a cooled off Tea in a cup, "Headache on sip."

[2] Better Dead than Alive

A bachelor Man asked his physician, I Want to live healthy and longer.
The Doctor advised, Good thought, Get married.
The man asked, Oh you mean the exercise of sex will make me live longer.
The Doctor said, No it is the want of sex that will kill your thought.

[3] An Alien Observation

A great handshake was observed in two humans of opposite sex at a wedding ring before a deadly bout of Lifetime.

[4] Respect to a Dead Union

A husband reminded the wife, Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary and I want to start the day with two minute's in silence.

[5] Love Kills

Marry with Love or have someone arrange it for you and then love. What the hell is the difference? Ultimate is the same, "Suicide of Harakiri or Killing of Guillotine."

[6] Strange Divinity

And God makes such a beautiful, lovely, pleasant, marvelous creature as woman for man, then suddenly he turns around and sticks him as wife.

[7] Senseless and Careless

A man before marriage stays awake happily whole night contemplating about the wordage of lover woman. Then after marriage he starts snoring faster then loving wife utters the first word.

[8] Wise Saying

Your money gets transferred faster than lightning When you marry.

[9] For unmarried only

Happy Independence Day.

[10] Grass is greener on other side

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order the best dish of your choice from the menu and yet damn you find your friend's dish more alluring.

[11] Decent Burial

A just recently divorced, hit hard, badly publicized, rich man received a telegram.
Your Ex-wife dead. Advise preference burial or cremation? Funeral cost you pay.
The man quickly responded, Burn the Body high flames and Bury the Ash deep grounds. I pay all the expenses.

[12] Wild Fiction

A just engaged man goes in the Library to search books on 'The sex and my woman.'
He asked the female librarian, Ma'am, I want the book something like, Master of my woman.
The librarian advised, Our fiction and fantasy books are in the basement.

[13] Promise Keeper

Once a man told then his lover, Marry me, I would even go to hell for you.
The girl trusted the promise and married him.
The Man kept his words, "He is going through the hell of his life for now his wife."

[14] Never drying tears

A woman brings you in this world with you crying and other one keeps you alive in this world with you crying.

[15] Law of Double Jeopardy

The Law does not permit a man to marry a second woman.
The Law cannot punish a man twice for the same offence!