New Liquor Liability Warning Labels suggested for FDA to act upon:

1. The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering, "What the hell happened to your bra and panties?"

2. The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

3. The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

4. The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

5. The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

6. The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

7. The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

8. The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

9. The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

10. The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked.

11. The crumsumpten of alcahol may mack you tihnk you can tipe real gode.

12 The consumption of Alcohol may leave you clothesless.