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Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Things Not To Do While Waiting For Your Date at Her Parents' House

Sniff the air and say it smells like a bordello.

Repeatedly zip and unzip your fly.

Go into a lengthy story about how you had Mexican food last night and ask if
you can use the bathroom.

Mention that 'Mr. Happy' is primed and ready.

Ask what time you should return your date tomorrow morning.

Recite a couple of bawdy limericks.

Ask the mom and dad what position they were in when they conceived their daughter.

Scratch your crotch and say your herpes is acting up again.

Pretend to eat your arm.

Ask the dad if you can borrow a couple of condoms.


“Oh No You’re Not"
"First," said the playboy, "I'm going to buy you a few drinks and get you a bit loose."

“Oh no you're not," said the girl.

"Then I'll take you to dinner and ply you with a few more drinks."

Oh no you're not."

"Then I'll take you to my place and keep serving you drinks."

"Oh no you're not."

"Then I'm going to make violent, passionate love to you."

"Oh no you're not."

"And I'm not going to wear a condom either!" said the guy.

"Oh yes you are!" said the girl.

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