Jokes

1. A couple drove down a country road for several miles,

Not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep ," the wife replied, "In-laws."


2. A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee
each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we
don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should
do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that
the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the
top of several pages,

That it indeed says........ .. "HEBREWS"



3. Back a few years ago, I went over to my neighbors house.(She was a blonde),
and for some reason she was mad at the world. She had locked herself in the
bathroom and was threatening suicide.

I said, "Come on, you know you don't want to do this!"

She said, "I damn well do wanna do this, nobody wants me alive anyways."

For some reason I actually believed her and pushed through the door, and saw
she had a rope tied to around her ankles.

I asked "Are you really trying to hang yourself?"

"Yeah, so what?"

"Well, usually when people hang themselves they tie the rope around their
necks"

"Yeah, well, I tried that, but then I couldn't breathe."