Jokes

1. A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment.

A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"

The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will makes a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters...

First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand... Totally exhausted and panting. Second poster, the man is drinking our Cola and Third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place"

"That should have worked," said the friend.

The salesman replied, " Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn't realise that Arabs Read from Right to Left..."



2. A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a
small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his
usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair
and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes.
What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a
person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who
keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from
reaching our full potential as a person.
Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only
blondes, but women in general and all in the name of humor!"
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little guy on your knee."



3. Like a lot of husbands throughout history, Webster would sit down and try to talk to his wife. But as soon as he would start to say something, his wife would say, "And what's that supposed to mean?"

Thus, Webster's Dictionary was born.


4. Doug brought Tammy back to his apartment, took off his clothes, and said, "I'd like you to meet my little friend."

Tammy took a look, gathered up her clothes, then said, "Call me when it grows up."


5. Our Lamaze class included a tour of the pediatric wing of the hospital. When a new baby was brought into the nursery, all the women tried to guess its weight, but the guy standing next to me was the only male to venture a number.

"Looks like 9 pounds," he offered confidently.

"This must not be your first," I said.

"Oh, yes," he said. "It's my first."

"Then how would you know the weight of a baby?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I'm a fisherman."