Jokes

1. One day Jack's dad bought a robot.

The robot was special in that it could detect a lie and would slap the
person who lied on the face.

Jack returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, "Son why are
you late from school?".

Jack answered, "Dad we had extra classes today ".

Much to his astonishment the Robot jumped up and slapped Jack on his face.

His dad told him, this robot is special in that he can detect a lie and will
then slap the person who lied now come on tell me the truth, " Why are you
late?"

"Dad I went for a movie",

"Which movie?"

"The Ten Commandments",

Splatt... Jack got a tight slap on the face from the robot.

"No dad honest I went for the movie Sex Queen."

"Shame on you son when I was your age I never used to do such shameful things."

Splatt, the dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot.

Hearing all this, Jack's mother comes walking out of the kitchen saying, " After
all he is your son, he will be like you"

The robot steps up and gives a resounding slap on Jack's mothers face.



2. An old woman had 3 daughters. One day she decided to test her Sons-in-law.

One day she was walking along a lakeshore with the first son-in-law. Purposefully, she fell down in the lake and started yelling for help.

The first son-in-law jumped into the water and dragged her out into the shore.

The next day he found a brand new E Class Mercedes in his door steps with the wordings "Thank you!!!-Your Mother-in-law who loves you very much!!!"

Another day she was walking along a lakeshore with the second son-in-law. Purposefully, she fell down in the lake and started yelling for help.

The second son-in-law jumped into the water and dragged her out into the shore.

The next day he found a brand new E Class Mercedes in his door steps with the wordings "Thank you!!!-Your Mother-in-law who loves you very much!!!"

The third time she was walking with the third son-in-law and she repeated the same. But that guy didn't respond to her cries for help and didn't move a single step to save her.

The poor old lady who wanted to test her sons-in-law drowned and died.
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The next day he found a brand new Rolls-Royce in his doorsteps with the following wordings ...
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"Thank you very much! Your Father-in-law! !!"



3. A personnel director with the government in Washington, D.C. was
reviewing applications for federal employment. The standard form
includes the question, "Why did you leave your previous employment?"

One applicant, a former U.S. Congressman, responded, "The express
wishes of 116,000 voters."


4. A game warden in Tennessee was driving down the road when he came upon little Johnny carrying a wild turkey under his arm. He stopped and asked Johnny, "Where did you get that turkey?"

Little Johnny replied, "What turkey?"

The game warden said, "That turkey you're carrying under your arm."

Little Johnny look down and said, "Well, look here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!"

The game warden said, "Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so what ever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you. If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him?"

Little Johnny said, "I guess I'll just kiss his ass and let him go!"