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Monday, December 8, 2014

Funny: Some jokes

Little Johnny was walking down the beach, and he spied a matronly woman sitting under a beach umbrella on the sand.

He walked up to her and asked, "Are you a Christian?"

"Yes." she replied.

"Do you read your Bible every day?"

She nodded her head, "Yes."

"Do you pray often?" the boy asked next, and again she answered, "Yes."

With that he asked his final question, "Will you hold my quarter while I go swimming?"


At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend.

"Don't you want her name engraved upon it?" asked the jeweler.

The young man thought for a moment, and then, ever the pragmatic, steadfastly replied, "No, just engrave it: To My One And Only Girl. That way, if we break up and she throws it back to me in anger, I can use it again."


An elderly tenant mentioned to his landlord about the tenants in the apartment over his.

"Almost every night, they dance on the floor, talk dirty, moan, and scream till midnight."

So the landlord asked him if it bothered him, and he expected him to do something about those culprits.

Nicely he replied, "No, not really. You see, I usually stay up and practice my accordion till about that time almost every night anyway."


One day a man came into a legal office for advice about a debt he owed.

The lawyer told the client that technically he could get out of the obligation.

"But morally," the lawyer continued, "you have a responsibility. As legal counsel, my recommendation is that you satisfy the debt."

The client rose and walked toward the door.

"Sir, there's a $25 fee for my advice," the lawyer reminded him.

With a shake of his head, the man replied, "I'm not taking your advice."

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