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Friday, December 12, 2014

Funny: Some jokes

A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree and with a deep sigh, started to climb. About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end. He turned and spread all four flippers and
launched himself off the branch.

When he landed at the bottom in a pile of soft, dead leaves, he shook himself off, walked back to the bottom of the tree, and with a sigh started to climb.

About an hour later, he again reached the very high branch, walked along, turned, spread his flippers and flung himself off the branch. Again, he landed on the bottom, shook himself off, went to the bottom of the tree,
sighed and started climbing.

Watching these proceedings from the end of the branch were two little birds. Mommy bird turned to Daddy bird and said, "Don't you think it's time we told him he was adopted?"


About 90 sixth-graders piled into the airliner I was flying, on their way home from a school trip. Once we were in the air and the crew began trying to serve soft drinks, I could hear them pleading with the children to settle down so the beverages could be served and the other passengers could get some sleep.

No amount of reasoning seemed to help, until, as the pilot, I thought of the solution that actually worked: I picked up the PA mike in the cockpit and announced, "Children, this is the captain speaking. Don't make me stop this airplane and come back there."


A man approached a local person in a village he was

"What's the quickest way to York?"

The local scratched his head.

"Are you walking or driving?" he asked the stranger.

"I'm driving."

"That's the quickest way!"


A lady noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach.

Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver, she commented, "I don't think that's going to help."

"Sure it will." he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers." 

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