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Saturday, December 20, 2014

Funny: Some jokes

Sister Mary, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas.

As luck would have it, a gas station was just a block away.

She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas.

The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned.

Since the nun was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car.

She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient.

Always resourceful, she carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gas, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.

As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two men watched from across the street.

One of them turned to the other and said, "If it starts, I'm turning Catholic."


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There was once a king who offered a prize to the artist who could paint the best picture of peace.  Many artists tried.  The king looked at all the pictures, but there were only two that he really liked, and he had to chose between them.

One picture was of a calm lake.  The lake was a perfect mirror for the peaceful towering mountains all around it.  Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds.

All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.

The second picture had mountains, too.  But these were rugged and bare.  Above was an angry sky from which rain fell, and in which lightening played.  Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall.  This did not look peaceful at all.

But when the king looked closer, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock.  In the bush, a mother bird had built her nest -- a perfect picture of peace.

Which of the pictures won the prize?

The king chose the second picture.

Do you know why?

"Because," explained the king, "peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work.  Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart.  That is the real meaning of peace."

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