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Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Funny: Some jokes

Two men were sitting side by side on an airliner flying from Denver to Los Angeles.

The first man appeared nervous and finally explained that he was being transferred to LA. "I hate Los Angeles," he said.

"Everything you hear about LA is bad -- smog, traffic, and worst of all, the crime. Gangs everywhere, people getting shot and robbed, things stolen, car jackings, and everyone hates everyone else."

"Oh, it's not that bad," said the second man. "I live in LA myself. Most of that stuff you read is media hype. It's just not true. You'll find LA is just like any other city, anywhere in America."

"Really?" responded the first. "Boy, that makes me feel a lot better. You say you live in LA -- what do you do for a living?"

"I'm a tail gunner on a Bud Lite delivery truck."


"Signs The Police Chief Doesn't Like You"

He doesn't like to be seen with you in public.

Instead of a gun, you were issued a water pistol.

Your locker is also the broom closet.

The job description in your contract includes "crash test dummy" and "pepper-spray test subject."

He sends you on drug raids - alone.

He always tells you that only wussies call for back-up.

He makes up "missing persons" and then sends you to look for them.

You always get the patrol car with the flat tire, no gas, a dead battery, and a broken air conditioner.

He lied to you about an "officer exchange program" and put you on a plane to Siberia.

He refers to you as "our mascot".

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