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Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Funny: Some jokes

A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.

"Quick," said the woman to her lover," into the closet!", and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked.

The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet.

"Who are you?" he asked him.

"I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone," said the exterminator.

"What are you doing in there?" the husband asked.

"I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths," the man replied.

"And where are your clothes?" asked the husband.

The man looked down at himself and said,........ "Those little pests."


When Debbie was in high school she had a crush on this one guy ever since she had been 12 years old. The guy never paid her any attention.

Every year Debbie would try to get the boy to notice her, but he just wasn't interested. Finally, when Debbie turned 18, she began to come of age, and sure enough, the guy noticed.

Debbie was very pretty, had filled out and looked quite grown-up and the boy asked her for a date on a Friday night!!

Debbie was so excited all week, and could hardly wait for Friday.

Finally, Friday came. As soon as she got home from school, she began getting ready for her date at 7.

She spent four hours primping and prepping her hair, make-up, and deciding what to wear, wanting everything to be perfect for the night she had waited years for.

Finally, 7 o'clock came around. Looking out the window, she saw her hero pull up in his shiny black car.

Debbie became so nervous and excited, that she opened the door before he even got to it. "Hi!" she said, nervous as hell, when he replied, "Debbie you look beautiful!!"

She was so pleased when she walked out the door, and then halfway down the steps- IT hit her. Debbie realized in horror that she had to FART!!

Oh my God she thought, I should have gone to the bathroom, walking along, Debbie pondered, what am I going to do??

Being a quick thinker, Debbie got an idea: She would let him open her door for her, hurry in, fart, roll down the window real quick, and by the time he came around and got in, all would be O.K.

So they get to the car, her guy opens the door, Debbie gets in, tryin' to keep her legs crossed as she scoots across the seat, he closes the door, then she really rips one!

Debbie quickly rolls down the window, and seeing that he's just getting around to his door, she relaxes a little now, she smiles at him as he gets in the car.

Then her beau turns to her, points to the back seat, and says, "Debbie, I'd like you to meet my parents, I'm dropping them off at the theatre!"

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