Two
little boys are in a hospital, lying on beds next to each other, outside the operating room.
The first kid leans over and asks, 'What are you in here for?'
The second kid says, 'I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous.'
The first kid says, 'You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice-cream. It's a breeze.'
The second kid then asks, 'What are you here for?'
The first kid says, 'A circumcision.
And the second little boy says, 'Whoa, Good luck, buddy, I had that done when I was born........
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Seventy-six year old Grace was watching TV at home late one afternoon.
Presently, the 5:00 news came on. The lead story was traffic mayhem on I-95 due to a car going down the highway the wrong way.
Grace suddenly realized her husband was traveling home on that very same highway. Concerned, she reached for the phone and called him on his cell.
"Harold," she said when he answered. "Are you still on I-95?"
"I am," Harold replied.
"Well then please be careful!" Grace said. "I just heard on the news that some maniac is going down the highway the wrong way!"
"One?" Harold replied. "Aw, heck, Grace, they're ALL going the wrong way!"
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A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
"My dog's cross-eyed," the man says. "Is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him."
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes and ears and then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What?" The man was astonished. "Why? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No," said the vet, "because he's really heavy!"
The first kid leans over and asks, 'What are you in here for?'
The second kid says, 'I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous.'
The first kid says, 'You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice-cream. It's a breeze.'
The second kid then asks, 'What are you here for?'
The first kid says, 'A circumcision.
And the second little boy says, 'Whoa, Good luck, buddy, I had that done when I was born........
---------------------------
Seventy-six year old Grace was watching TV at home late one afternoon.
Presently, the 5:00 news came on. The lead story was traffic mayhem on I-95 due to a car going down the highway the wrong way.
Grace suddenly realized her husband was traveling home on that very same highway. Concerned, she reached for the phone and called him on his cell.
"Harold," she said when he answered. "Are you still on I-95?"
"I am," Harold replied.
"Well then please be careful!" Grace said. "I just heard on the news that some maniac is going down the highway the wrong way!"
"One?" Harold replied. "Aw, heck, Grace, they're ALL going the wrong way!"
----------------------------------
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
"My dog's cross-eyed," the man says. "Is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him."
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes and ears and then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What?" The man was astonished. "Why? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No," said the vet, "because he's really heavy!"
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